The Great Balancing Act

Something a little lighter

2010-10-27T06:19:00.000-07:00

After that depressing, but needed post the other day, I figured I should post a picture of B. It's blurry but adorable. This is her first thing in the morning. What's on the other side of the camera is not as cute.

Life

2010-10-25T06:56:00.000-07:00

Isn't that blog title vague...

It seems that a lot of people around me are experiencing life changing moments. Moments of life and death. I feel like I'm putting around going about life as usual. And I'm not happy about that. I feel I'm taking things for granted, doing stupid, destructive things, and I don't want to wake up one day and say, "what the hell did I do with my life."

I went to a church yesterday. It was the first time I've gone in a while. I don't feel comfortable in church. Slapping on a happy face and being all nicey nice just isn't my idea of a great Sunday. I've fallen far from the faith I had in my early 20's. I don't know why. I don't know why I've turned my back on it. I don't know why I've decided that my way is the best way, when I know it's not. Even after I went I still went on about my life as usual. Why didn't God change my heart? Am I not open enough? Am I not ready?

I want to be ready. But I also don't want to give up who I am. I don't want to give up my friends, my social life, me. I'm a sarcastic, selfish person, who just happens to be blessed with an amazing husband and daughter. I don't deserve any of it and fear that any day now it will be taken from me because I sat here and took it for granted.

I'm not sure this all has a point. I just know that my life needs to start heading in a better direction. I hope that those around me will love and accept me for who I am or will become. I hope that the people I've hurt will forgive me and that I one day will fall back into the arm of my Father.

Terrible Pre-Two's

2010-09-03T16:42:00.000-07:00

What happened to my content, well-mannered baby? I think we have a diva on our hands. Since she learned to walk a few weeks ago she no longer enjoys being strapped into anything. Stroller? Nope. Grocery cart? Don't even try. High chair when we are out to dinner? Hell to the no. And the list goes on. Ugh! Life is interesting and I feel like I'm just failing constantly.

On one hand I want to be able to discipline her, but on the other hand I know she doesn't fully understand what she's doing. So when I am disciplining I feel like a horrible person, but when I'm not I feel like I'm fostering bad behavior. Ugh...again.

She's only 14 months and I'm just at a loss about what to do. Maybe there's nothing I can do. Maybe we are dealing with it correctly and it's just a phase. And maybe it's just wishful thinking.

Any advice out there?

Grandma

2010-08-31T16:26:00.000-07:00

Last week my Grandma passed away. It was bittersweet. She was my last surviving grandparent as both my grandfathers passed away in 1992 and my other grandma passed earlier this year. It's a weird feeling knowing that you no longer have grandparents that are alive.

My relationships with my grandparents were all different. On my mom's side, they were divorced. My grandfather from what I can remember adored us. I remember spending time at his apartment, watching The Little Mermaid. I remember he was an avid golfer and always had a smile on his face. He was a hardworker who loved his children and was a very generous man. My grandmother lived close by almost my entire life but we weren't very close. I know she cared about me, and I remember her taking me to get my drivers license and her car didn't have the e-brake in the right place so I wasn't able to take my test, but I was thankful she wanted to take me. She loved us in her own way, even if I didn't really understand it, or appreciate it.

On my dad's side, my grandparents lived out of state, so we didn't see them often. My grandfather had a stroke when I was little, so most of my memories are of him sitting in his chair that electronically moved up and down to help him get up and down since he has some paralysis. My parents would always yell at us to get off the chair, "it wasn't a toy." Oh, but it was to us...My grandmother was a loving soul. She was a believer in Christ and really put that first in her life. She was a preachers wife who loved her husband, children, grandchildren, and great-grand children. She never missed your birthday and always sent you a card. She loved writing letters and while I was in college to exchanged many letters and she told me about falling in love with grandpa and what it was like raising 3 boys. She was a constant in my life. Someone I did take for granted. I'd always tell myself I'd get around to writing her or calling her. But I didn't. Now she is gone. I won't ever get a letter or card in the mail.

But I know she is so happy where she is. She is reunited with her husband and has met her heavenly Father who she dedicated her life to. I'm so happy that she met my daughter. Grace is my daughter's middle name. That was my grandmother's name. Grandma you will be missed, but we know you are where you want to be and we will see you again one day!

2nd Installment of a Day in the Life...Weekend Style

2010-08-19T07:30:00.000-07:00

I'll post about our Saturday.

6:30-B starts stirring. Oh happy day it's Saturday. Which means I sleep in.

7:30-I'm awake. What a disappointment. The house is quiet which means it's Daddy/Daughter Chick-Fil-A breaking Saturday. I call husband and let him know I'll be ready to leave for the aquarium by 8:30. he's quite shocked to hear my voice this early on the phone.

7:35-Go downstair turn on the news and make sure the world is ok.

8:00-Shower and get ready for our first family trip to the aquarium.

8:45-B and P get come home and we get everything ready for our trip.

10:00a-Arrive at the aquarium. We buy an annual pass, since we figure we'll definitely come back...hopefully.

10-12:30-Explore the aquarium. Miss B. loved it. She loved looking at the fish and just looking and looking and looking. We had a blast and can't wait to go back again. Good decision to get the annual pass

1:30p-Get home and attempt to put B down for a nap. 1st attempt, fail. 2nd attempt, she sleeps. And mommy and daddy take a nap too.

3;30-B wakes up. So do we. She's in great mood. We are playing, until, P pulls a muscle in his back. Uh-oh. We start icing it immediately. We know he'll be out of commission for a while. Play with Bella until 5pm.

5:00pm-Start dinner. Talk to my friend and make plans to meet up with her and hang out after B goes to bed.

5:30-Feed B. Clean up.

6:00pm-Bath time. Splish, splash around. She loves the bath

6:30pm-Start to relax with B. Around 6:45 we get the milk ready and cue up her video. We all sit on the couch and snuggle together.

7:00pm-Put B to bed and I get ready to leave and meet my friend

8:00pm-Arrive at the casino and hang out with my friend. We put our name in the poker list. It's a long wait. So we sit and chat.

9:45-Get on a poker table. Haven't played poker in a casino since April. Oh happy day.

12:30-Leave. Lost a little bit of money.

1:30a-Get home and pass out in bed. Exhausted, but a great night.

So that was my Saturday. It's a great mix of family, friends, and some relaxing!

A Day in the Life

2010-08-13T12:26:00.000-07:00

A Day in the Life...

I saw this on Sassy Times blog so I thought I would also share what a day in life is like in the A household. Like Sassy, everyday is dramatically different based on work day or weekend, as well as did I work from home or go into the office. So I will go through my day yesterday...

6:15-wake up. Wait B's not awake yet. Yes! I roll over grab my phone and check work email and facebook.

6:45-B's stirring. I go downstairs get her milk and morning snack ready and get B. She drinks her milk and snack while I get her stuff ready for the day. We normally do it the night before, but I was exhausted, so I waited till the morning.

7:00-Play time. We go downstairs and play with Toys. Get her dressed and put sunscreen on.

7:45-Leave for daycare.

8:00-Drop B off. She's crying hard today. She doesn't want mommy to leave. Boy, that's rough. But I leave.

8:15-Jump on my lap top and start search for the morning resumes.

8:30-shower

9:00a-Work. Making phone calls, have a conference call at 11a to plan for. Work. Work. Work. Oh, from home today.

11:00-Conference Call. Fun!

12:00-Leave to meet my girlfriend for lunch at an adorable café.

12:45-Leave, but Whole Foods is right next door. Stop in and pick up some stuff for the house

1:15-Home. Put groceries away and return to my office where I work until 5:30.

5:30-B is home from daycare and oh my she is in a horrible mood. It's a mood I've never experienced. She won't sit in her high chair for dinner. Only wants to be held. Is crying hysterically. P and I are heartbroken to see her like this as well as running short on patience. Maybe taking a walk will work. Nope. Go home.

6:30-Breakdown and put on a Baby Einstein video. Halleluiah it works. She sits on the couch with us and watches it with some occasional freak outs of hysteria.

6:45-Warm up some milk. B drinks it, but is starting to get very cranky. She lets out a big yawn and rubs her eyes. Bed time.

6:50-Is put to bed. Cries for about 3 minutes and is out.

7:00-Friend comes over to look after B while we go out for some dinner.

7:15-Arrive at Bahama Breeze. We sit in the outdoor section and enjoy some cocktails and appetizers. Yummy! We talk and talk and talk.

8:45-Leave and decide instead of going home we'll stop by the local sports bar and grab a pint.

9:00-Grab a pint. See some friends and chat at the bar. We are exhausted.

9:30-Get home. Big thank yous to Dustin for looking after B.

9:35-PJ's are on and must watch the Last Comic Standing season finale.

11:00pm-In bed

11:05-Sleeping.

So as you can see, it's not too crazy. Even though B was quite the fusshead, life was good. I saw a friend for lunch, ran an errand, and got to have dinner out with the hubby (though it's rare). It was a good day, minus not seeing my B as much as I would like, but again, it's all about balancing life.

Next week I'll include a weekend day, since they are my favorite days.

What's your day like.

All part of the balancing act

2010-08-11T07:59:00.001-07:00

For the first time we are having someone who's not related to us AND we aren't paying to look after Bella. I've been so hesitant to have any of my friends watch her. It's not because I don't trust them. I just know how stubborn and fussy she can be. It's somehow easier to handle when your family is watching her, because, hey she's blood, so you don't mind so much to put your family through it. When we pay our sitter, I can justify my feelings, since hey, we are paying you. But when it comes to my friends I just feel so bad if she's absolutely miserable for them. Most of my friends don't have children, so they aren't used to being around a very moody toddler, since most of the times we go out at the end of the day so she's tired and cranky.

So to ease our way into it, we are having our friend come over after she goes to bed. This way, she'll be asleep the whole time. Am I crazy?

I'll let you know how it goes.

A change is coming...we hope

2010-08-08T16:42:00.000-07:00

It's been forver since I've blogged. I've been keeping up with everyone else, I've have been only a spectator the past couple months. I really haven't had much to write about. Yes, Miss B is amazing, but really who wants to hear about her everyday, except maybe for me? We've celebrated her first birthday. She's a gift.

Well here at a A household we are making some major changes in our home. The major one is, well, we are selling our home. We bought our home in late 2007. It's a 4 bedroom 2.5 bath house. We had no plans of having children at the time. We thought that owning a home would give us happiness. We were fulfilling the american dream, right? Wrong. A beautiful child later, and almost three years in our home we've realized that we aren't happy. Our home is too large. We are in debt. We have to constantly choose between spending time together as a family, or clean, landscaping, or paying someone to do it for us. Ok, to be honest, we aren't the most motivated people. We enjoy our downtime as well.

We've realized that owning a home isn't for us. Someone rudely asked us if we were able to make the payments anymore. 1. it's really not your buisness. 2. yes, we are fine financially. If anything the windfall of money we've experienced recently has showed us how to utilize our money in the best way for our family.

So we are going to be renters again. We found a great 2 bedroom 1.5 bath w/a private study AND a great daycare. We are cutting our square footage in half. But I feel like our happiness has multiplied. Once we sell our home we will be debt free. We will be able to reach our long term retirement goals. We will be able to save enough money over the next few years to buy a home that will meet our needs for a family. We bought into a dream that wasn't really ours. It was a dream that was ingrained in us as children. But it was a false dream for us. We are excited about this next stage of our lives. I encourage all of you out there to evaluate your dreams and goals. Where did they come from? Are they yours? Figure out what's best for you and your family and don't worry what others may think because ultimately, you have to deal with the consequences of your decisions.

Change

2010-05-21T11:34:00.000-07:00

Hi all(3 of you? Hi Mom). I know it's been a while. Life has been hectic and blogging hasn't been an interest to me. Hubby has been traveling two weeks straight so I've been working, taking care of little B, attempting to see friends, and keep my house from looking like a slum (fail). Also my creative juices aren't there and I'm in a rut in regards to my diet. I've maintained my weight the last three weeks. I haven't gained or lost. I'm 17 pounds from my goal. Mentally, I'm giving myself until June 1st to get my butt in gear. That will be 8 weeks till my shore vacation and I would really like to wear a two-piece.

In the past month I've also re-fallen in love with my job. I'm not going to lie, it was getting stale. I wasn't busy and it was hard to stay motivated. But there were some nice changes and I'm really enjoying it again. So that's taking up a lot of my time. I feel like my life is about to go through a transition.

Friendships are changing, priorities are changing, and my life is in the process of being re-balanced. I think it's all for the best. I still have one major change that I would like to work on in the coming months (sorry for the vagueness, not it's NOT another baby). But there's something missing in my life and I would like to get back to that part of myself. I know it may be painful and require some sacrifice, but it's important to my family.

I'm also trying to decide where to take this blog. I feel like blogging about mom stuff and weight stuff is boring at best. So I'm trying to decide what to do whether it's continue with the status quo or shake things up around here. I really enjoy politics...anyone with me? :P

Stay tuned!

How We Met...

2010-04-23T04:54:00.000-07:00

On Kelly's Korner this week, it's about Show Us Your...How you met your husband/wife/fiance...Here's our story!

Hubby and I met in June 2002. We were both were on break from college. I had just broken up with a boyfriend from college, so meeting someone was not on my radar. An old friend of mine had suggested that we meet up with her boyfriend's friends and go into Boston. On the way over in the car to meet them she casually mentioned, "I hope 'P' is there, you two would really get along." I didn't think anything of it, because again, I was not looking for a relationship since I had just gotten out of a relationship about 48 hours ago! We got there and I was introduced to everyone. I totally thought P's friend Dan was super cute. I glossed right over P. Well we got to our destination after meeting at Dan's house. We went to a bar in downtown Boston called Jose McIntyres. I somehow got talking to P and all of a sudden the lights went up, it was 2am already? How did that happen?

We found out through conversation that we lived close by, so I offered to drive him home. I dropped him off. I was smitten. He was cute, fit, funny, smart, oh my. The next day he called my friend and asked her for my number. He lost it, had to ask for it again. He finally called me up and asked me out. From our first date on we were unseparable...until I had to go back to school 1500 miles away from his school.

We dated long distance for 10 months, and 8 months after that, one January 2nd, 2004 we were pronounced husband and wife.

This of course is the abridged version of our courtship, but my hubby is the most amazing man I've met. He is an amazing father and the most loving husband. Not a day goes by he doesn't say I love you. I'm one lucky woman.

Our Little B!

Life as You Imagined

2010-04-13T06:19:00.000-07:00

I recently had a birthday and it's made me reflect on what I thought life would be like. I remember being in college thinking I wanted to change the world through teaching. My entire life I wanted to be a teacher, seriously, since kindergarten when you draw what you want to be when you grew up, it was a teacher. I studied being a teacher in college, took the exams to get my teaching license, interviewed for teaching jobs, and now I'm a recruiter...What? How did that happen?

I was offered a teaching position in rural Virginia after graduation. I almost took it, but Hubby, who I was only dating at the time, couldn't find a job in that area. I took a huge leap of faith and didn't take the job and instead stayed in Boston and waitressed. Thankfully that leap of faith has paid off, since we are now married. (I knew he was the one!) We moved out of state where I was unable to find a teaching job for 1.5 years.

I could've subbed with the school systems to "get my foot in the door." But after talking with some substitutes, many seemed to be stuck there for years. I just couldn't see myself as a glorified babysitter. So I sought other options. I went on a ton of horrible interviews with a ton of horrible companies. One was a "marketing" position, but really it was door-to-door sales. Another was with a company in the refi business. This was back in 2005 prior to the mortgage meltdown, but even back then, I knew there was something just wrong about giving loans to people who couldn't afford it.

I finally stumbled upon a staffing job. It didn't sound like my dream job, but it was an office job, Mon-Fri 9a-5p. I was sick of the swing in my schedule and money I made from bartending/waitressing. I will admit that job sucked. It was like working in a factory, where people were your commodity. I recruited people for temporary positions. I made hundreds of cold calls a week. I dreaded going into work. But the funny thing was, I was really good at it. I was good at building relationships with people. I loved that part of the job. About 18 months later, I found a recruiting job on the corporate side.

I LOVED it. I loved the mission of the company. I loved the people I recruited. It was an amazing team to be a part of. The downside was it was a start up company. There were a lot of growing pains, and at the end of the day, the unpredictability wasn't for me. That led me to taking a job with my former boss at another company. It was one of the best moves I've made so far. I enjoy what I do. I have great flexibility in my schedule. I work independently, my boss is great. It's just great.

So, to get to the point. I never could've imagined myself doing this. It's not something you even go to college for, but it's a great career. So although my dream of being a teacher never came to fruition, my current career has allowed me to do many things I couldn't have dreamed of. So any younglings reading this, don't be disappointed if your career doesn't exactly shape up to what you thought it would be. Sometimes going down a different path with bring rewards and experiences you could've never imagined.

Good Friday

2010-04-02T06:21:00.000-07:00

Rom. 5:9-10 -- Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! 10 For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!

New Blogs

2010-03-31T07:25:00.000-07:00

I read a lot of blogs out there. 90% are fellow mommy blogs. The other 10% are misc., one guy I went to college with, a poker blog, a political blog, a super cool chick I met through my husband blog, oh also the Sleep Talking Man blog, hilarious. And I almost forget Post Secret. Anyway, I feel like I need a little more variety, since I feel like I read a lot about poop, breastfeeding, and other baby topics. Don't get me wrong, I love reading about other mom's out there. They are a wealth of information, and I've learned so much, but I need something new. So, I'm reaching out to all of you (all 10ish), what blogs do you read? If you do read a great mommy blog, please do share those as well, I don't want to miss out on any good reading. But I would love some new, fresh blogs. Refer away!

Cookbooks

2010-03-30T06:03:00.000-07:00

I received a great cookbook for my birthday. It's Rocco Dispirito's Now Eat This. So far I've tried one of the recipes and it was yummo! One thing I've noticed about his recipe's is they call for some odd ingredients that I don't or wouldn't use often. However, if the recipe sounds tasty I'm all for giving it a shot.

I also am going to be receiving Hungry Girl's new cookbook. Hubby pre-ordered it for my birthday. It officially came out today, so I'm looking forward to receiving it in the mail. I like her other cookbook, so I'm excited to start thumbing through this one.

Another cookbook I bought in the past couple months is the new Weight Watcher's cookbook. They have some great basic recipes, like ww friendly biscuits, cookies, breads, and sauces.

I've found since joining WW I've enjoyed cooking a lot more. I like seeing if I can find good, tasty alternatives to some of my favorite foods. I'm looking forward to making Rocco's Mac N' Cheese recipe. Too bad hubby doesn't like mac n' cheese; I guess that just means more for me.

Does anyone have any good WW friendly cookbooks out there that you use?

***I lost 1.8 lbs today at my weigh in. This means I've lost a total of 16.8 lbs since January. That's an average of 1.4 lbs per week!***

Update on Resolutions

2010-03-26T11:21:00.000-07:00

I figure with the year being about 25% over it would be a good time to check in and see how my new year's resolutions are going.

1. Be a better wife-If I had to give myself a grade from A-F, I'd give myself a B, B-. I have my days where Hubby bares the brunt of my attitude. But it's gotten better. I will never be perfect, but I think just being aware of it, has helped me control my emotions.

2. Be a better friend-I think I've improved in this area. It's so important to have friends in your life who support you and accept you for who you are. I've realized that it's silly to get upset about some small personality differences.

3. Be a better colleague-I work with a great team of people. I've made some recent changes in my job that I'm enjoying. I'm going into the office more frequently which is making me feel more connected to my job and colleagues. I'm getting involved in a couple projects. Overall, I'm feeling better about my job, gaining the confidence I've needed, as well as beginning to take the right steps to finally get over the issues I had with my previous job.

4. Get healthy-Since new years, I've joined weight watchers and I have lost about 15 lbs. It's been a big fail on the exercising front. I also feel like I can drink less. Baby steps, I know. I'm happy with the progress made so far and I'm hoping to be at my goal weight by the end of the summer.

5. Find balance in my life-Thanks so my amazing hubby, I'm able to balance my life very well. He allows me to take the time I need to de-stress, hang out with friends, etc. I still find that I will try and have it all, which eventually leads to lack of sleep and moodiness, but I am home more, getting more sleep, and hubby and I schedule "us" time on a weekly basis. I don't feel over worked or under appreciated. We did have a little hiccup back in early February, but hubby and I talked about it and put together a plan that's been working well for us.

So there's a summary of 2010's resolutions so far.

How are yours going?

The Simple Life

2010-03-20T18:27:00.000-07:00

Lately Hubby and I have been trying to de-clutter our lives. Since we bought our home in late 2008, we've accumulated so much stuff. How does that even happen? We are just working on one room at a time and so far it's been so freeing.

Oh, to answer that question, me. I'm a shopper. I enjoy being a consumer. I buy things I think I need/want and it doesn't always seem that I need/want them that badly. I'm starting to learn and ask myself questions before I buy something. How much will I use it? Do I already have something similar? Where will I put it? These questions are helping, BUT I did go to Toys R' Us today, they are closing the store and re-opening in the fall as a Babies R' US Toys R' US superstore. Everything is 50-70% off. It's tough with a little one to really know what you need or what she might enjoy. We have tons of stuff she barely used, but hopefully we can find nice homes for these things and other little one's can find use for it.

Anywho, our next de-clutter project is our bedroom closest. It's packed with clothes and I know we don't wear all of it. I question what to do with my maternity clothes. Do I save them, give them away, sell them? I just don't know. I'm pretty sure we aren't having another one, so is it worth keeping when there's someone out there that could use them? I just don't know. I have until Saturday to figure it out.

I'm enjoying de-cluttering our lives. It makes you realize that you really don't need that much stuff. I hope I can carry this into my daily life as well in term of not packing my schedule full of things to do, but I need to slow down and enjoy time at home with my family. I don't need to have my social calendar full of things to do. It's been a great process of finding out what's and who's really important in my life right now.

Now for a couple adorable pics of little B. It's a great way to end a post if you ask me!

1. Bedtime w/mohawk 2. Sick day with Daddy 3. First time on the swings

Parenting Fail

2010-03-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

Today I experience my first gut wrenching parenting fail. I knew going into parenthood I would make mistakes. I knew it wouldn't be an easy job and today was one of those days where you realize, "I'm not perfect." It's humbling but amazing at the same time.

We've been battling a bad cold/ear infection for a couple days now. Yep, all three of us. It was a tough Sunday/Monday to say the least. I could barely peel myself out of bed yesterday; thankful Hubby was well enough to look after Little B. But after a very rough night of sleep last night and my body just so over being sick, my mind was not in a good place to make great decisions. So this morning we some how rationalized that it was okay to drop B off at daycare at lunch time. We thought, 1. She's been on antibiotics for about 24 hrs. 2. Ate two good meals at home 3. Wasn't running a fever But what we ignored was 1. She didn't go to sleep until 3am 2. She looked run down 3. Wasn't her normal chipper self.

So around lunch time we dropped her off and about 2 hours later we picked her back up. I will say having those two hours we amazing. Hubby got to the doctor, I got caught up on work, and we both were able to re-energize. But the whole time she was gone, I had this nagging feeling that it wasn't the right choice. I should've gone with my gut instead of my overwhelming desire for a break.

Now, I'm not going to beat myself about it. I know I'm not the first one to make this mistake. But it was a humbling experience to say the least. We knew being first time parents mistakes were going to be made and thankfully this isn't one she can remember. All we can do is move forward and be the best parents we can be.

I'm Back

2010-03-10T11:49:00.000-08:00

I am home from my trip to Vegas. What a trip. It was GREAT. I had such a good time with friends, but of course, "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." Though nothing too crazy happened. I few highlights of the trip I will mention:

L played poker with Jason Alexander from Seinfeld. He was performing in our casino, I guess he felt like playing a little 1/2 to warm up!
As we were walking to go pick up our Blue Man tickets, we saw Phil Ivey playing craps at a reserved table. So we decided to play on the table right behind him. Those two celebrity sightings/encounters were a great highlight to the trip.

But now it's time to get my butt back in gear and start up following WW. It's been a little over a week since I did any tracking of some sort. So, I think I'm going to start up the online tracking I was doing on the blog a while ago. I hope it's not too boring, so let me know if it's dreadful :)

I'm going to get weighed in tomorrow. I'm hoping that I've maintained my weight the past couple weeks and didn't gain anything, BUT, I know I haven't been doing well, so I won't be surprised if I gained. I'll let you all know.

I have to say it was nice to go away for a few days, but I missed my family so much. When I got home and ran up and gave hubby a kiss. It was almost 2am, so he was sleeping. I then hustled down to the nursery and scooped up Little B in my arms and just rocked her in her chair for 15 minutes. She didn't wake up, but it was soo nice to snuggle with her and hear her breathing and hold her little fingers. I love the time with my friends, but my heart ached missing her. I know I'll go away again for work or pleasure, but seeing that face just make me realize how much I love being a mom

No Weigh

2010-03-04T08:51:00.000-08:00

No weigh in for me this week. It's been just a crazy week at work. The last three days my work day started very early in the morning. Then after we picked up B we had 3 days of Skyping with the grandparents. It was great fun. But WW was on the back burner this week. I was curious to see how I did, especially going into a long weekend away from home, but i'll just have to wait until next Wednesday to find out.

But I'm out until Tuesday. I'll see you later blog world!!

Is it bad that...

2010-03-02T09:12:00.000-08:00

I haven't been to my weigh in this week....
That I absolutely cannot wait until Thursday when I'm at the airport with my friends boarding our plane to VEGAS baby!...
I can't wait until Wednesday night and cuddling up with my hubby and watching Lost together...
I can't wait to see B's semi-toothed grin smiling at me this afternoon...

I don't like to wish my life away. I've been very careful of doing that since having our little one. I don't want to rush her growing up. I saw a 5 week old yesterday and it just tore me to pieces. I remember people saying to me that they couldn't remember their children being as little as B when she was born. I thought they were crazy. Now, just 8 months later and seeing that little precious baby, I couldn't remember B being that tiny.

Anyway, I try to think too much about the future in terms of it getting here quickly, but really, Thursday, can you try and get here a little sooner.

I'm leaving for a trip to Vegas with some friends. Hubby and B are going to spend a long weekend together. Am I completely spoiled by my Hubby, absolutely. He truly is the best and is so understanding. Thank you, thank you, thank you my dear Hubby! I love Vegas. I've been twice and loved every second I was there. It's going to be a great time and it's always great to go with people who have never been. It's great to experience it through their eyes.

On a more serious, but not too serious note, I haven't been to my WW meeting this week. I typically go on Monday's, but I've been going into the office this week due to some computer issues. I'm debating on returning to the office at least part time. I definitely have missed working in an office environment. I'm going to give it a run after Vegas and see how it goes. It's all about balance. I digress, so I haven't gotten weighed. I don't think I did too well, but we'll see tomorrow when I go...maybe. I do have to do a building visit tomorrow, just not sure of the time.

That's really all from me at this point. I will post again if I make it to my meeting with the results. Of not, you may not hear from me until after Vegas.

Family Bonds

2010-02-26T06:32:00.000-08:00

I have a grand parent who is dying. I'm not close to this person, but I know it's still a difficult situation for one of my parents. My feelings for my grand parent are mixed. On one hand, it's family. Once they are gone, I have one grand parent left, and it's an odd feeling. On the other hand, this grand parent never made any real attempts to have a relationship with me as a child, at least not to my recollection. He/She lived in my state less than 45 minutes away from me just about my whole life, but I don't have any memories. No trips to the park, no afternoons of being spoiled, no time spent getting to know me. So I'm left feeling apathetic.

I don't feel good about it. I don't like not feeling anything about it, but I can't force myself to feel sad about it.

I also don't want my little bean to feel this way. I hope she feels loved and adored my her grandparents, and I know at this point in her life her grandparents just adore her and love her, and miss her daily.

It's also not about how close you are geographically either. Two of my grandparents lived out of state my whole life, but I've never once not felt loved my them. My one grand parent has sent me letters, cards, and phone calls my way, my whole life. And regretfully I've taken that for granted my whole life. So I also know a relationship is a two way street.

After my husband's loss of a parent last last year, and with soon passing of one of my grandparents it's making me reflect on the importance of the relationship between grandchild/grandparent. It can such a treasure relationship and it's one I hope little B will experience in her life with all her grandparents.

Sorry this post is all over the map. I know I'm not articulating my feelings the best, but I just need to get something out since it's been on my mind this week.

8 Months

2010-02-25T10:07:00.000-08:00

A day late

My sweet little one, you are 8 months old now. You are becoming quite the little person. You've discovered your little curiosity. I think you instinctively know what you aren't allowed to touch or play with and only want those things. I jokingly say (kind of) that if I lined up 5 new toys and a knife, you'd go after the knife.

This month has been incredible. You are growing so quickly. So have mastered sitting up on your own. You aren't crawling yet, but you are reaching and twirling around on your tummy. I think you'll get there soon. You've decided that you enjoy waking up very early in the morning. You normally go to bed around 7ish and sleep all the way until 545-6a. We'd love for you to sleep later, but we may have to wait until the clock move forward in the spring. :)

You have one tooth poking out and I haven't felt anymore, though I don't dare to put my finger in your mouth since I'm afraid you'll bite it clear off my hand. You are still eating three solid meals a day and now you are on stage two foods. You also tried yogurt for the first time on your 8 month birthday and you just loved it. You also love the chicken and rice food, which looks disgusting but you are a fan.

I told myself I would never feed you something I wouldn't try, but that was a lie. I can't bring myself to do it, so I'll just take your word for it.

You say things like abba, abba (is this a sign of your feature music tastes...), and dadadadad, and mamamamama. Of course we'd like to think you know what you are saying, and even though you don't, it still melts my heart just the same.

You are still wearing your 9 month clothes, but the legs are getting a little short on the pants, so we may have to start shopping for some longer pants. I don't know where you are getting this length from, your Daddy and I are shorties.

One last thing, you absolutely love Praise Baby dvd's. They are incredible. They take away your fussy mood like nothing else can. They are brilliant. I love the music and enjoy watching you watch the picture go by and smile and laugh at the babies on the screen. It's also great for Mommy and Daddy when we would like to eat dinner together or whip up some breakfast for ourselves in the morning. I'm glad that you enjoy them and hope to one day hear you sing those praise songs yourself.

I'm blessed to be your Mommy and I know Daddy loves you so much!
Happy Eight Month Birthday Miss B!

Long Day

2010-02-24T06:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a long day. Even though I made responsible choices both Monday night and last night, I'm still exhausted today. Make me think, I should've gone to the Irish pub on Monday with friends and then I should've met my friend for a drink at a cool new bar after my long day yesterday.

But maybe I would be feeling worse.

I haven't seen my little one since Monday night. My DH kindly has gotten up with her the past two mornings, and I didn't get home until 9p and my work day started around 730a. But it was a good work day. I drove into the office and saw some colleagues. I attended a job fair at a local university and then attending a OT dinner that our company sponsored. It was productive and great for networking.

It was also a bad eating day. I ate breakfast at home, stopped by taco bell and ate two fresco tacos, that brought me to 10 pts for the day. Then at the job fair, they had food set out. I ate 3 cheese cube, 2 crackers, pineapple, and 2 small quiche-y looking things. It's all about B-L-T's that kill you at Weight Watchers, known as Bites, licks, and tastes. Those points add up and can blow your points right out of the water.

At the dinner, they had pasta, chicken, green beans, potatoes, rolls, cookies. I ate a little of everything. Bad, Bad, Bad. I know I went over for the day, but that's what the extra 35 are for, right? Today is a new day.

I also can't wait to see my little one today. Oh, I miss her smiles :)

Still No Exercise...

2010-02-22T10:30:00.000-08:00

Has it really been a week since my last update, bad bad blogger. I had a fabulous weekend with my sister. She came into town and we spent some time in NYC. This was my first official trip to NYC, ever. Yep, I've lived no more than 3.5 hours from NYC my whole life (with the exception of college), and never visited.

It was great. We stayed in Times Square at the Crowne Plaza. Great location. We walked around a lot and saw the sights. We ended our trip with Pop Con. It was an all day concert that headlined Justin Bieber, my sister's "husband." She loves him. It was a good time and while listening to teen girls scream at the very mention of Justin's name, it brought me back to the days when I loved New Kids on the Block and was obsessed over Joey Lawrence, yes the "Whoa" guy from Blossom. I remember those days with such fondness. I would dream about meeting Joey Lawrence and he would immediately fall in love with me and whisk me away from my boring life of school and family. Ah, those were the days.

From a weight watchers perspective I didn't think I did well. I didn't go to the gym, at all! I ate some non-WW friendly foods, can you say hello curly fries (just a few though). But I didn't weigh, measure, etc, anything for two whole days. I even ate a bagel w/cream cheese. But I went to the meeting today and I lost 3.4 pounds. I must've over-estimated my points and under-estimated my activity points (walking around NYC). I really needed this weight loss. Since last week, I've just felt blah. I even was mentally trying to talk myself out of quitting WW and being content with my body the way it is. How silly is that?

I hit two WW benchmarks. I lost 5% of my starting weight (9 lbs) and I got my first 10 pound weight loss ribbon. I've now lost 11.6 pounds on WW for a total of 14.1 since the beginning of the year! That is exciting and motivating.

So, I will go to the gym this week. My planned days are Tues, Thurs, Saturday. So feel free to check in with me or "remind" me that it's my day to go.

How are you this week? If you are trying to lose weight, do you have any celebrations or benchmarks you've hit recently?

Thank You...

2010-02-16T13:07:00.000-08:00

to those that asked, commented, called, texted me about getting to the gym. But no I didn't. I'm not making excuses, but we were snowed in Wednesday, Thursday w/ Little B, and I was sick Friday and Saturday with a stomach virus. But still no excuses, this week I press on and hope that it's a better week. But please keep my accountable, I appreciate it.

Weight Update

2010-02-15T12:21:00.001-08:00

Last week was quite the week. We had a terrible snow storm that dropped another 2 feet of snow on top of the 1.5 we already had. Then on Friday, Hubby and I both came down with a brutal stomach bug and spend most of the day in bed, and calling the porcelain gods. :) Thankfully little one was in daycare all day, because if we have gotten it Wednesday or Thursday she would've been home with us since her daycare was closed due to the snow storm. I would say Friday was in the top ten of the worst days of my life, no exaggeration. I don't think I've ever felt that awful before. On the positive side, it also means that I haven't experienced too many awful things in life for that to be in the top ten.

So, due to being trapped in the house, working and with little one home, then being sick for a couple days, I didn't track my WW points very well, or at all last week. So I don't have much to update on that front.

However, we did go to our WW meeting today and we both did well. Thank you stomach virus. I lost 1.8 lbs and Hubby lost 3.2

My Grand Total: 10.4 (8.2 on WW + 2.5 before I started WW mid-January)

Hubby's Total: 12.4

It's awesome that a pair of jeans I couldn't wear on 1/1/2010 are now loose on me and I need a belt. If that's not motivation, I don't know what is! Plus the nice compliments from Hubby are always helpful too.

On to non-weight related news.

Yesterday was our first V-day with little one. I wanted to post a pic of her in her cute v-day outfit, but she had a blow out and we had to do a costume change. But I'll put her in it again and take pictures, because as hubby said, "all of miss b's clothes look like valentine's day clothes." Very true...

We had a good day. We woke up, and be we, I mean hubby woke up at 630 and I slept until 9a. We then went to Sam's Club and stocked up on diapers, wipes, formula, etc. Then Miss B and I let Daddy have some down time and we went walking around the mall, window shopping, then swung by the grocery store to pick up v-day meal ingredients.

We have shrimp cocktail as an app, then mash sweet potatoes, filet mignon, and steamed broccoli. For dessert we had chocolate covered strawberries.YUMMO! So it was a reasonable, but splurgy dinner. We then settled in for a romantic comedy and I was passed out by 11pm. Good day all around. Hubby did get me what I wanted for vday.

I wanted an apron. What? An apron? Yep. but not just any old apron, but one of these aprons.

It's from flirtyaprons.com They are super cute and I just had to have one. So thank you valentine for the lovely apron. I love it and I got to wear it yesterday as I was baking WW peanut butter cookies and preparing dinner!

Well I think this post is long enough!

Priorities.

2010-02-09T11:36:00.000-08:00

I'm just not motivated to go to the gym. I really need to go. I think about it, but the actually getting off my rear end to go has been challenging. I know if I stay on WW I'll still lose weight, but the fact of the matter is, I lost the most weight the week I made it to the gym 3 times.

This weeks meeting was about priorities. My take in life has always been 'you make time for what's important to you.' End of story. People will make excuses for not doing things, or spending time with you, etc. But at the end of the day it's about what you make a priority in your life. The gym just isn't a priority and I know it should be. I need to go back. I tell myself everyday I'm going to go, but it's not bee two weeks and I'm still sitting here. I feel like I've hit a wall already with this and I just need to force myself to do it, no excuses.

So, I am writing to commit to getting to the gym OR doing some sort of exercise 3X before Monday. Please hold me accountable.
Thank you!

Snow, Being in a cage, and weigh update

2010-02-08T11:57:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine moved to the area from a very cold, windy part of the country. Before he moved here I boasted that in two winters we lived in our home, hubby only had to shovel twice. I'm eating my words now. We got a crap ton of snow over the weekend, and on top of that we had snow back in December AND on top of THAT we are getting more snow this week. What the fudge, seriously. I hate snow and being cold. Yuck, yuck, yuck.

I made the adult decision to not venture out on Friday. Big mistake. We were couped up in the house all day Saturday. Since I also work from home and I work from my living room, I see it, A LOT. And more of it I got to see over the weekend. Yes, it was adorable having a PJ day as a family, but by 11a on Saturday I was ready to go out, run errands, do SOMETHING. But it was still snowing and the roads weren't plowed.

Poor hubby had to deal with me being a total wreck the rest of the day, and by a wreck, I mean had a horrible attitude and took it out on him...sorry hun! So when I woke up Sunday to plowed roads, I was practically ready to get out and jump into my car half dressed, just to get out. Of course, I apologized and asked hubby's forgiveness for my attitude the days before. As previously mentioned he's the most patient and forgiving person I know, he forgave me. And I was off to the mall to walk around. I then met up with a friend for a couple hours. I came home and felt like a brand new person. I was kind, loving, smiling, ah, back to normal.

I know I need to work on this lovely attitude of mine, I think I get it from my mom (got to blame someone right, can't take responsibility for my own actions...). But I'm not one who can just stay in a small space for a long amount of time. Little one's play area is also our living room, so I just saw too much if it all last week.

Well to give you the update on WW, here you go...a week's worth of diet and my end result
I'll just say this, NO EXERCISING LAST WEEK...FAIL!!!!!!

Monday
Breakfast: WW Muffin, 3 pts
Lunch: Chicken Strips, Thin, can of beets, 5 pts
Dinner: Pasta, 5 pts
Snacks/Beverages: 2 lite beers, 2 glasses of wine, 8 pts.
Total: 21 pts, 1 pt deficit

Tuesday
Breakfast: Oatmeal Cookie, WW cake, 2 pts (Breakfast of champions)
Lunch: Pop Corn and WW Soup, 4 pts
Dinner: Salad w.grilled chicken, lite dressing, 8 pts
Snacks/Beverages: 4 lite beers, 8
Total: 22 pts

Wednesday
Breakfast: None (bad, bad person)
Lunch: Chicken Sand w/grapes, 6 pts
Dinner: Homemade Pizza, 8 pts
Snacks/Beverages, Wine, 8 pts.

Thursday
Breakfast: Egg Whites, Thin, 3 pts
Lunch: WW Icecream Bar, 1 pts (so bad again)
Dinner: WW Shrimp Lo Mein recipe, yummo, 5pts
Snacks/Beverages: Oatmeal cookie, 3 lite beers, 7 pts
Total: 16 pts, 6 pts deficit

Friday
Breakfast: None
Lunch: Chick Fil A 8 piece nugget, salad with ff italian dressing, and bbq sauce, 6 pts
Dinner: Leftover Shrimp Lo Mein, 5 pts.
Snacks/Beverages: Popcorn, WW cake, 3 lite beers, 9 pts
Total Points: 20 points, 2 pt. deficit

Saturday
Breakfast: Egg Whites, Thin, 3 pts
Lunch: WW recipe Nacho's, 3 pts.
Forgot to track the rest of the day, but I was under.

Sunday:
Breakfast: Egg whites, grapes, 2 pts.
Lunch: GRilled Chicken Salad, one fried chicken finger, 7 pts.
Dinner: grilled buffalo chicken tenders, 8 pts
Snacks/Beverages, 2 lite beers
Total: 21 points

So, I didn't go over in my points, but I still feel like I could have done better. I also didn't exercise AGAIN. So my goal this week is to go to the gym 3 times this week and earn at least 10-12 activity points for the week.

Last weeks weigh in: 165
This weeks weigh in: 164
Difference: 1 pound.

That's good, not great. Had I gotten my lazy butt off to the gym a few times last week, the number would be much better. But this week is a new week and I can make those better choices today and not focus on the past.

Sisters

2010-02-02T07:31:00.000-08:00

most of you probably know i have a sister who is about 15 years younger than me. she was born when i was a freshman in high school. at the time, i wasn't so sure what i would think about having a sister so young. i was also in one of the more selfish stages in life, called being a teenager. so hanging out with a newborn wasn't really high on my to-do list.

now that i'm entering the last year of my 20's and she is off to high school next year, i couldn't be more thrilled to know her. her and i have been close for years. i feel like our relationship really took off my senior year of high school and has grown and grown since then.

i know she is now entering a time in her life where her friends are the most important thing to her in the world, and boys are going to be increasing important as well. this is the age when you start to learn who you are and what's important to you. you start thinking about what do i want to be. you don't have to figure it all right now, but you do start to think about it.

this is also the time when emotions run high. hormones are all over the place, and you feel like you should be able to make adult decisions because your body is starting to transform into one. but looking back i wasn't ready to make those decisions yet, and thankfully i had a good foundation to stay away from some of the things my friends didn't.

at this age you sometimes have to say goodbye to those you were close to in middle school because they are making choices you don't agree with or they are hanging out with people who aren't a good influence. sometimes your friends say good bye to you. they run with another crowd that isn't into you.

i look back today with fondness of those times. they were "easy" compared to today, but i remember being 14, 15, 16 and it was TOUGH. there are so many temptations and choices to make. there could be dire consequences for your actions, life changing even. it's easy to get caught up in the emotions and hormones and make bad decisions. i know i did some things i wasn't proud of. but i also know i had a great support system behind me, so that when i did fail, when i did make bad choices, they surrounded me with love, forgiveness, and discipline.

i hope my sister knows that i do remember what it's like being her age. i don't think things have changed too drastically since i was there. i want her to know that i'm here for her in times of need. i'm here for her when/if she makes bad choices. i'm here to surround her with love and forgiveness and acceptance.

i want her to be the best person she can be. she is loving, loyal, hilarious, caring, kind, and so many other things. i want her to stay true to herself and her values. she is a beautiful person inside and out and i'm proud to call her my sister.

Unfollowed...ouch

2010-02-01T10:37:00.000-08:00

WW went well today. I will break down the last few days in a moment. But I noticed someone decided to unfollow my blog today, ouch. I must have said something they didn't like. I guess you can't please everyone! Or maybe they are doing so privately, who knows. Are they embarrassed by me? :) :)

Hubby is home from his business trip. I couldn't be happier. Saturday was kind of an off day though. Do you ever have one of those days where you just don't feel in sync with your spouse? It was one of those days, but we went to bed that night saying today wasn't a great day, but tomorrow is a new day. And it was. It was a great day.

Anyway, on to the weight loss front. I threw away my tracker for the week, so I'll type the days I remember. Overall I only used 13 of my 35 "bonus" points, but I had only 2 activity points. Drats! I have 13 the week before. But like Sunday was a new day, this week is a new week. Back to the gym tomorrow for my cardio/weight classes and I'll be back on track.

Friday
Exercise: None
Food:

Breakfast: None
Lunch: Pad Thai, Dumpling Soup-12 points
Dinner: Pad Thai-7 points
Snacks/Beverages-3 glasses of wine, popcorn-8 points
Total: 27 points, 5 points over

Saturday
Exercise: None
Food
Breakfast: none
Lunch: Applebees Chicken and Portobello Sand, 7 pts
Dinner: Pizza (home made), 5 pts
Snacks/Beverages- Alcohol, 18 points
Total: 30 points, 8 points over

Friday
Exercise: None
Food:
Breakfast: 2 egg whites, thin, 2 strips of turkey bacon, 5 points
Lunch: Chicken Sandwich on WW bun, 6 points
Dinner: Nacho's-Baked tostito's, WW Mexican Cheese, FF sour cream, Salsa, and Vegetarian Chili- 8 pts
Snacks/Beverages- oatmeal Cookies, 3 points

Total: 22 pts.

Sooooo....I lost a whooping .8 lbs this week. I knew I wasn't going to be posting big numbers this week, because I didn't exercise, but the scale is moving in the right direction, so no complaints here.

This means I now weigh:

165, down 7.9 lbs for the month of January.

I feel great and my clothes are feeling a little bigger. It's great progress for 4 weeks and I'm glad I've stuck with it. My goal is 135, so I'm going to keep chugging along.

Nothing Compares to You!

2010-01-29T11:04:00.000-08:00

Our little one is around other little ones almost every day. Really with the exception of Saturday she's with kids her age a good portion of the day. When she was first in daycare she was in someones home. I liked it, but through some unforeseen events we have to take her out of the home care and place her in a center based program. I was nervous at first, but I'm come to love where she goes. The teachers there just love her and whenever I'm there they always have her engaged in activities and really strive to help her develop.

That being said I see other babies in there and how they are progressing. It's interesting to see how each one is doing. How many teeth do they have? What are they eating? How long are they napping? Are they sitting on their own? Crawling? Walking? Starting to say words?

We've know for a while that B would be a little delayed in the sitting/crawling/walking area since she hated tummy time for the first 4 months of life. We would flip her over and the waterworks would start. Slowly but surely, she's grown to like it and even prefers to be on her tummy rather than her back. It's great.

I find it can be hard to NOT compare how your little one is doing to others. On one hand you want your little one to be "caught up" with the rest of them, but at the same time you remind yourself that ALL babies are different.

Then I remember the absolute blessings we have because of her. From her smiles and giggles to her sleeping through the night at pretty much week 5 weeks old. We also love that while she recognizes us and prefer us when she needs soothing, she loves being held and cuddled by others too. She loves being in her car seat, stroller, just about anything. She doesn't like baby video's like Baby Einstein, she watches for 30 seconds and gets bored. She's rather play with us or her toys. She's a great baby. So while, I sometimes internally fight the urge to compare her to the other babies, she's one of a kind and I wouldn't have her any other way.

It's Amazing What You Can Do

2010-01-28T06:57:00.000-08:00

I've known about Hubby's business trip forever and was just dreading it. We are really a great team and I knew I was going to miss my better half for a week. But I have to say even with how hard this week has been it's shown me what I'm capable of doing. I'm not saying I'm ready to go climb a mountain, but I realized how strong I can be and what I can accomplish on my own.

I remember being in college and taking 6 classes, working as a T.A, working a part time waitressing job, volunteering with Young Life, and still having an active social life. I looked back on that and couldn't understand how I did it. I did it because 1. I had to. I had to work and support myself financially. 2. I wanted to. I had the passion to volunteer and work with teens. I wanted to still have meaningful relationships even on top of two part time jobs and a full course load.

I feel a little like I did back when I was in college. I don't remember the last time I woke up this early, this many days in a row, and it's really not that bad. I'm doing fine, ok maybe complaining a little bit along the way (thanks N for listening to me gripe this week). But at the end of the day, I'm ok and I'm actually enjoying it to a degree.

That being said, I can't wait for my better half to come home. He is the greatest, most loving and patient person I know. He's a wonderful Dad and I miss my Husband. I've just realized I'm capable of doing many things. And perhaps I lean a little too much on him to do things because I'm "too tired" or "don't have the time." This week has been eye opening for me. So I'm thankfully for his business trip. It turned out much better than I would have ever expected.

And I even went a day early

2010-01-25T11:40:00.001-08:00

I lost 3.6 frickin pounds this week. I know some of it is probably from the week before when I decided to smartly drink 2.2 lbs of water before my meeting/weigh in. :) So that's a total of 4.6 lbs while on WW and 7.1 lbs since I started making some healthy lifestyle changes on 1/4/2010

So, here's the updated weight.

*Starting Weight: 172.9, yes, I know it's higher than I started, but I'm going by the WW scale and not my home scale, which seems to be a bit kinder.
*Current Weight: 165.8.

I'm really just over the moon. And how did I "reward" myself, I went to chick fil a. I ordered the 8 count chicken nuggets (6pts), fruit cup (1pt), and diet soda. I didn't exactly reward myself, I knew I was going there regardless, since I haven't had CFA in 3 weeks, and I had the pts to do it by having a lighter breakfast. It was delicious and somewhat nutritious. Hey, you can't deprive yourself all the time; everything in moderation. Three weeks w/o CFA is showing a lot of restraint, especially when I used to eat it 3-5 times a week. How did I get 35 pounds overweight again :)

Now that my weight is in the 160's I'm now only able to have 22 points starting tomorrow. Awesome! But lower points means I'm making real progress.

I feel good today. Today is a good day!

Sunday, Sunday

2010-01-25T06:06:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was day one of Hubby being gone. My hats off to SAHM's and single parents. After one day without help I was exhausted! I'm also a weenie. I went to bed early and slept the hardest I've slept in a while. Miss B was up and ready to go around 615a, yipee! But she was all smiles, so I quickly shook my sleepiness away and played with her this morning before we were off to daycare.

Recap of yesterday:

Exercise: None, I know three days no workout. I need to get on that.

Food

Breakfast-Egg Whites/Sandwich Thin, 3 points
Lunch-Hot Dog, 5 points
Dinner-Mexican Chicken Casserole (WW recipe, it's ok, but I wouldn't make it again), 6 points
Snacks/Beverages: Wine, 5 points, popcorn, 2 points, WW yogurt, 1 point
Total Points, 22 points.

I'm getting weighed in today since I have work obligations over the next two days. I'll be curious to see how it goes, only being 6 days and all. I'll be sure to post the results at some point today or tomorrow.

I miss Hubby tremendously. And not just because he's not here to help out. I just miss him. I'm looking forward to seeing him on Friday! I'm sure B is too!

Seven Months

2010-01-24T04:48:00.000-08:00

To My Precious Little One,

Today you are 7 months old. It sounds so cliche, but where did the time go? I feel like it was yesterday that we were bringing you home from the hospital. You are reaching milestones in life so quickly.

You love being on your tummy. Which is great since you hated it the first 3-4 months of your life. You are learning to sit up on your own, but still need a little help from Mommy, Daddy, or your lovely boppy (so multi-functional). You are drinking out of a sippy cup most of the time. We still give you a bottle before you go to bed. I don't want to give that up yet. I love that time together, but I know it will be ending soon, once you really master the Sippy. You eat 3 solid meals a day. You love, love, love, oatmeal. You aren't a huge fan of vegi's and you don't like fruits at all. I gave you banana's the other day and you just looked at me and cried. We'll try those again at another time. You are wearing 6-9 month clothes. I had to pack away your 3-6 month clothes and it made me so sad. But also so happy because you are growing and developing and it's so awesome to witness.

You do the cutest thing whenever Daddy walks into your room, you giggle. Just for him. I think it's because you are used to seeing him in the morning. Daddy is more of a morning person than Mommy is, so you two get a good amount of bonding time then! :) But it's the most adorable sound to hear. You love your Daddy. It's funny to watch you watch him walk up the stairs. You just stare and stare and wait for him to come back.

We're seeing little glimpses of your personality as you grow. I think you have a little stubbornness in you. You definitely get that from me. You fight taking naps. It's almost humorous. You still welcome us in the morning with a smile, no matter what. I've said it before, but it makes it so much easier getting out of bed so early to see that smiley face. Although you don't like to nap, you love to sleep at night. You sleep from 7ish-6ish, sometimes later. You rarely wake up in the middle of the night AND we no longer feed you before we go to bed. You eat so well at dinner you don't need that night bottle anymore. Just another sign of you growing.

You still love being held by everyone and anyone. You are so well behaved in restaurants, you just smile and look at everyone and play with your toys or drink your sippy. You still like the car and your stroller. You will stay out shopping with Mommy for hours.

You are a happy baby. You are our baby, and we love you little one! Happy 7 months of living outside of my belly.

Going Out

2010-01-23T16:47:00.000-08:00

Thursday and Friday were good days. I did fairly well, with the exception of going out on Friday evening, and indulging on a few too many adult beverages. But I'm still on the right track. Here's the recap.

Thursday

Exercise: 1 hr workout. Did back to back classes. 30 min cardio/30 min weight class, 7 activity points

Food:

Breakfast: Normal Egg Sandwich, 3 points
Lunch: Progresso Light Soup and 1 cup of grapes, 3 points
Dinner: Shrimp Pasta w/garlic toast on a sandwich thin, 7 points
Snacks/Beverages: Alcohol, 10 points
Total Points: 23 points

Friday

Exercise: None

Food:

Breakfast: Egg Sandwich, 3 points
Lunch: Progresso Soup w/can of beets, 1 point
Dinner: Slice of whole wheat bread, Asian Chicken Salad, Strawberries, 8 points
Snacks/Beverages: Vegi Platter w/dip, Alcohol, 25 points
Total Points: 37 points, 14 points over.

Saturday:

Exercise: None

Food:

Breakfast: Egg Sandwich, 3 points
Lunch: None
Dinner: Shrimp Pasta, 6 points
Snacks/Beverages: WW Cake, Low Fat Kettle Corn, 3 points
Total Points: 12 points

No, I'm not under eating because I over ate/drank yesterday. I haven't had a great appetite do to partaking in the adult beverages last evening! Opps!

It's only 8:20pm, so I may have another snack later on, I'll update if I do. But I have a feeling I'll be in bed pretty early tonight. I'm exhausted and hubby left for France this evening, so B and I will be seeing each other early in the a.m tomorrow. I'm looking forward to our Mommy/Daughter day tomorrow. I think we are going to the home show, but we'll see.

Checking in

2010-01-21T09:16:00.000-08:00

Thank you to all of your who have sent me emails of encouragement. It keeps me motivated and keeps my eye on the prize, losing 35 lbs. I haven't really set a time frame for when I want to lose the weight. By losing weight the healthy way, I know I'll lose 1-2 pounds a week on average. So it really puts me in the July time frame. But try not to think of it too much. I take it one day at a time. Easy strides, slow and steady. Sometimes I'm just taking it meal by meal, those are the tough days. I know if I slip up, I can't give up. I might have that day where I give in and eat that bowl of ice cream or more likely in my case, more than enough Doritos's. But then my next eating choice is a new one and I can move forward.

Here's the breakdown from yesterday:

Exercise: None, no way, I was way sore from Tuesday.
Food:

Breakfast: Egg white, WW cheese, and mushroom sandwich w/apple slices, 4 points
Lunch: 6" sub from Subway, 7 points
Dinner: Pasta w/ turkey burger, 6 points
Snacks/Beverages: 2 lite beers-4 pts, popcorn, 2pts.
Total Points: 23, right on the money!

I've made it 2.5 days without dipping into activity points or weekly allowance points. That's mainly because I haven't left the house in two days. Once I go out for an evening of cards or hang out with friends, I'm sure the points will be used. But that's what they are there for.

Hope you all are having a great day.

Week Three

2010-01-20T10:19:00.000-08:00

Yesterday started week three of my new year's resolution to drop 35 lbs. Here's a re-cap of the day.

Exercise: 50 minute work out (20 mins cardio, 30 min weight class), 6 activity points
Food:

Breakfast: WW Banana Nut Muffin, 3 points
Lunch: Smart One's Meal, 5 points
Dinner: Shrimp Pasta w/red sauce, one sandwich thin (made into garlic toast), 7 points
Snacks: 1 cup of grapes, popcorn, one full glass of wine, 5points
Total Points: 20. A 3 point deficit for the day.

Yesterday was a bit of a struggle. I didn't choose very good "filling foods." So much of the day I was hungry. A filling food according to WW can be a lean protein, or foods that have a large amount of water or air. As you can see I ate a muffin yesterday over my normal egg while sandwich. About an hour later I was hungry. I was trying to make it to the gym before my work day started, I won't do that again. I also have my weigh in yesterday and my work day go a little hectic in the late morning, so I had to choose a frozen meal, versus something with fresh veggies and a nice lean protein.

I tried to make up for it with dinner, by saute up some shrimp in olive oil and garlic and serving it over one cup of whole wheat pasta and make some garlic toast. It totally hit the spot and left me feeling satisfied for the rest of the day. Although the WW ice cream bars were totally calling my name last night, but it was 1030 and I decided to go to bed rather than eat.

Also great tip for those who aren't complete wine snobs. If you want to watch your calories and life a glass of wine, add sprite zero. It's similar to a white wine spritzer, but a little tastier if you ask me. I got three servings out of one glass. It left me relaxed and satisfied for the night, and only cost me 3 points.

DH weighed in today and he lost 2.2 lbs. Go Hubby! He's traveling all next week, so I'm hoping he makes good choices while not at home. I know it can be hard, but it's doable if you put your mind to it.

I was hoping for two

2010-01-19T11:12:00.000-08:00

Edit: My DH kindly pointed out to me that yesterday before my weigh in I went to the gym and did a 50 minute workout and consumed a liter of water. He said that a liter of water weighs 2.2 lbs, so that after my body replaced the fluids it lost from the work out, the scale could be off as much as a pound. That gave me hope!

Ugh! I went to WW today and it didn't go as I had expected. I got my little gold book back and took my chair, looked down, and saw I only lost 1 pound. So the 4 workout and tracking points didn't do what I thought it would. I know, I know. Some of you are saying, it's ok. The scale is only one factor. I know that. I admit I feel better. I have a little more energy. But really, 1 lb?

So this week, I need to refocus. I need to cut back drastically on the drinking. I need to work out harder, and eat more filling foods and use as little of my activity points and 35 points as possible. Grrr...I don't feel like giving up. I feel more motivated and ready to refocus this week and really crackdown on everything.

Here's the breakdown from yesterday

Exercise: 30 minute work out, 4 activity points
Food:

Breakfast: Egg white, ww cheese, and mushroom sandwich. 1 cup of grapes,-4 pts.
Lunch: Progresso Light Soup w/WW Cheese-3 pts
Dinner: Grilled Chicken w/Broccoli, 6 pts
Snacks: 3 martinis, 2 lite beers, nacho's-21
Total Points: 34 pts.

Total Points for the Whole Week: 196

Normal Points Given: 151

Activity Points Earned: 11

Weekly Points Allowance: 35

Total Points Used: 184

Points Leftover: 12

This is the first full week on WW, so I'm still learning how it works.

These are my goals for this week

Increase activity points to 16
Do use any activity points for food
Limit my drinking
Limit use of extra points to 15, giving me a total points used next week of 166.

Hubby hasn't gone yet. He had a work meeting. I'm hoping he will go this week and at least get weighed in.

If anyone has recipes or pointers, I'm happy to hear them.

The Weekend...Uh-Oh

2010-01-18T08:20:00.000-08:00

So this weekend wasn't so successful, but I did plan for it. In addition to not eating so great, I also didn't exercise. Boo! Today is the last day of the week for me. I get weighed in tomorrow. I'm looking forward to seeing how it goes. Here's the breakdown from Saturday/Sunday

Exercise: None
Food:

Breakfast: Egg White, WW Cheese, mushroom sandwich-3 points
Lunch: Smart Ones Meal w/Thin, 4 points
Dinner: Baked Chicken w/Sweet potato, 10 points
Snacks: 3 Lite beers-6 points, 4 small meatballs-3 points
Total Points: 26 points-3 points over
Exercise: None

Exerise: None

Food

Brunch: 2 OJ/Vodka, 2 scrambled eggs, meat, and breakfast potatoes-24 points
Dinner: Garden Salad w/Grilled Chicken and balsamic dressing-6 points
Snacks: 2 lite beers, 1 skinny vanilla latte, 5 points
Total Points: 35 points-12 points over.

Thankfully WW plans for days like Sunday. In addition to your points you have per day, you also earn points for exercise, and you have 35 flex points which you can use at anytime throughout the week. I have used all but 4 activity points (I went to the gym this morning), and I've only used 6 of my 35 points. Not too shabby considering this is my first full week on WW.

I will post my weight tomorrow. Here's to hoping...

Friday

2010-01-16T06:23:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a good day! I had a great work out and ate some really yummy food.

Here's the breakdown.

Exercise: 25 minute cardio work out, 2 activity points
Food:

Breakfast: Egg white, mushroom, and cheese sandwich-3 points
Lunch: Chicken Pita Sandwich w/cheese and lite ranch-3 points
Dinner: Baked Chicken Parm w/no cheese, whole wheat pasta, and one piece of garlic toast made on a sandwich thin-10 points
Snacks: WW Ice Cream Bar, 1 6oz glass of Riesling-4 points
Total Points: 21 points. Deficit of 4 points.

I noticed that since we started weight watchers I've cooked or prepared most of our meals. I did one subway sandwich, but it's been nice cooking at home. I think we'll also end up saving some good $$$ by not eating out as much and not drinking as much! So we'll be shrinking our waist lines and growing our savings account. Win-Win!

Heated Discussion

2010-01-15T10:01:00.000-08:00

So on one of the Mommy blogs I read, the Mom recently wrote about backing out of a commitment to attend a bachelorette party and wedding of a friend since she can't bare to be away from her son. He's roughly the same age as my little one. I have to admit I don't understand where she's coming from. Ok, so maybe in the beginning I wouldn't venture say more than 5-10 miles away from Miss B. That was for the first couple months. Ok, some people didn't really understand where I was coming from. "What do you mean you don't want to drive into the city for happy hour and dinner?" So perhaps to an extent I understand it. I'm also not a SAHM, so I'm used to being separated from my little one throughout the week.

All this aside, I knew when bringing Little B into the world I wanted to make sure of a few things. One, I want her to know and experience the love of Christ. I want her to have a relationship with Christ and I want her to grow to be a woman of God. (Goodness know I have much to work on it that area, but I digress) Two, I want her to know that her Mother and Father are committed to each other. I want her to have a great example of marriage. I know that how Hubby and I treat each other will be one of the biggest influences for her in how a relationship should be between and a man and a woman. We know we aren't perfect and we've had our share of issues/mistakes, but we want to show her that marriage works, love exists, forgiveness is available, and at the end of the day she can feel safe knowing that her Mom and Dad are going to be together forever. Three, I want Little B to see us as people who have meaningful relationships with others. We want to show her that yes, we are a family unit, but a family is made from unique individuals who have passions, talents, hobbies, etc. I want her to know that I am a wife and mom, but I'm also a friend, co-worker, daughter, sister, etc.

I think those three things are important to raising a child. I think for some the first two are important, but they forget about the third. They forget who they were before children. They lose their passions, friendships, etc., and lose themselves in their children.

One day Little B will grow up and move out of our home. I need to make sure I know who I am without her in my home. Will I look around and realize that all I've been is a Mom and Wife and have forgotten everyone else? I don't want that to happen. Being a Mom is of great importance and a high priority in my life, but I need to make sure my life has balance and I allow myself to do other things and explore my other passions.

That's why I believe this Mom is making the wrong choice. She's going back on a commitment she made to a friend. She's going to miss out on one of the most important days of her friend's life. All because she doesn't want to spend an evening or two away from her little one. I hope she doesn't wake up 18 years from now and realizes that she's pushed those away that cared about her. I hope she doesn't wake up and realize that her little one has grown up, left home, and she's filled with emptiness. I hope she decides to go. I hope she can learn that she can be a Mom and friend.

Almost over the hump

2010-01-15T09:12:00.000-08:00

Just 4 more days until the next weigh in (Tuesday). Yesterday was a great day all around. I ate well, got a good work out in, got to spend some quality time with hubby and Little B, and bonus, I got to play some cards.

Exercise: 30 minutes on the StairMaster, 230 calories burned-earned 3 activity points
Food:

Breakfast-Egg white and cheese sandwich with mushrooms and a cup of grapes, 4 points
Lunch-Deli Chicken on WW Pita with lite ranch, lettuce/tomato, 4 points
Dinner-Chicken Tenders (made coating w/Fiber one cereal and added garlic power,onion powder, minced onion, seasoning salt, and pepper) 1 cup of white rice, broccoli, 10 points
Snacks-WW Chocolate cake treat, 1 point; 3 lite beers, 6 points
Total Points- 25 points, deficit of 1 pt, due to exercising.

I'm so anxious to see how Tuesday goes. Hubby has been really well so far too. It's so nice to have someone to do this with, even if he gets more points. We are cooking more together, planning meals, and being supportive. I also need to get my butt in gear for the Couch to 5K, a friend of mine is also doing the program and we are going to commit to a 5K in the spring. I think this is also a great thing, more accountability. It's going to get me to the gym more and burn that fat!

Thank you to those that have sent me emails, comments, texts letting me know that you appreciate my candor in doing this. I hope that my honest will not only help me in this journey but help you too. Whether it's to tone up, eat better, or lose 20+ pounds. Thanks again for reading this and continuing on in this with me.

Egg Whites are Yummy...and only one point

2010-01-14T06:24:00.000-08:00

I went grocery shopping yesterday and it was a nice feeling pushing around the shopping cart with lots of fruits and veggies, whole grains, lean meats, etc. I knew that I was sticking to our goal to living a better and healthier lifestyle. Ok, so it wasn't easy walking by the bag of Doritos's or the bagels, but I did it!

Here's the update for yesterday

Exercise: None

Meals:

Breakfast: English Muffin w/peanut butter and an apple, 5 points
Lunch: 6 inch subway turkey sandwich w/yogurt, 7 points
Dinner: Egg white omelet w/fat free cheese and mushrooms, beets, and a bowl of grapes, 5 points
Snacks: Weight watchers ice cream bar, 2 points
Total Points: 19 points, deficit of 4 points!

I will admit I was a little hungry when I went to bed. I could've had a lil snack, some fruit or something, but I just went to bed instead. I'm hoping to sneak in some time at the gym today, hopefully during lunch. I need to get my butt on the stairmaster!

Switching gears just a bit to mommyhood. Little B has been amazing. I love this age. She's absolutely adorable. She's grabbing at things, and giggles and smiles when you walk into a room. The one thing she is starting to do that is kind of cute, but a little alarming is when we pick her up at daycare, she's happy. We can't immediately go to her, since we are gathering all her belongings (bibs, bottles, clothes, etc) by the end she's just wants to be held by one of us and she starts to get upset. It's adorable that she recognizes us and wants attention from us. But I feel so bad when she gets upset!

She's not sitting up unassisted yet or crawling, but we knew with her hatred of tummy time earlier on, she would be a bit delayed in those areas. I'm looking forward to her reaching those milestones, but at the same time I love her being so little. She's growing up fast!

Points Instead of Calories

2010-01-13T06:04:00.000-08:00

I'm making a slight change to my blogging format. Instead of posting calories, I'm going to be posting points. Now that we've officially joined Weight Watcher's I have to stay within a point range. Mine is 23. Hubby's is 34. We also have 35 extra points you can use through out the week. You can also earn points by exercising. So I'm going to be tracking all that here.

Exercise: 25 minute work out, 2 activity points
Food: Total points for the week, 196

Breakfast: English Muffin w/1 tbsp of peanut butter, 4 points
Lunch: Chicken Noodle Soup, Garden Salad, Ranch Dressing, 6 points
Dinner: 2 Chicken Fajita's, 8
Snacks: Peanut Butter Granola Bar, 4 points 2 Lite Beers, 4 points
Total Points: 26 points.

So I was 3 points over for the day, but I did have 2 activity points, so I only have to dip into one point of my extra 35. Not too shabby.

I know this process is going to be a long one but I'm enjoying it so far. I'm enjoying thinking about what I'm putting into my body and making sure I exercise often. I feel like I have more energy and while the scale hasn't drastically changed, I feel a lot better about myself.

Thank you again for reading. I'm finding this accountability so helpful. I think twice before I eat anything, knowing that the next day I have to blog about it.

Week Two

2010-01-12T05:45:00.000-08:00

Yesterday began Week 2 of my journey to finally shed the pounds and be a healthier person. And it was tough. As I was out playing cards at a great Italian Restaurant I saw people ordering the most yummy things, pastas, cheese steaks, CHEESE fries, and oh my goodness, turtle cheesecake. I think I like just about anything with the word cheese in it. But I stayed true, ordering the pasta fagoli and a shrimp Caesar salad w/no croutons, no cheese, dressing on the side. Oh and no bread or crackers. If you know me, I love carbs. Bread especially. I remember not too long ago when I had gestational diabetes the struggle I had everyday to not eat breads, rices, pastas. But I digress.

I did fairly well yesterday here's the breakdown,

Exercise: None (see last post about the Wine. It kicked my butt all day)
Food:

Breakfast: English Muffin w/1tbsp of peanut butter, 215 calories
Lunch: Grilled Chicken Sandwich on a sandwich thin, 380 calories
Dinner: Pasta Fagoli and Shrimp Caesar Salad w/ dressing on the side, 650 calories
Total: 1245-ON Target!

I plan to exercise today. I'm telling you, if you have a Wii Fit, The Biggest Loser Game is impressive and quite the challenge IF you aren't in shape. I'm sure if you are in shape it's a pretty easy workout. But it's kicking my butt. I felt like I got kicked in the ribs yesterday after doing 3 sets of planks. Can't wait to do them again today.

Have a wonderful day everyone.

First Week

2010-01-11T08:00:00.000-08:00

Sunday

Exercise: 30 min work out

Food: English Muffin w/peanut Butter-220 calories

Lunch: Homemade pizza-450 calories

Dinner: 3 glasses of wine (opps) a slice of pizza (no cheese), one small bread stick, 700 calories

So, not the best day yesterday, but not terrible. I was only about 150 calories off schedule.

This morning was the weigh in. I knew I had to have lost SOMETHING. I didn't know how much, but when I look at the scale I was...pleased, not thrilled, just pleased. I lost 2.5 pounds. I am 7% to my goal.

Last weeks weight: 169.9

This weeks weight: 167.4

Difference: 2.5 lbs.

My overall goal is to get down to 135. If I'm comfortable there, I'll stay there, if I feel I need to lose more, I will. I know last week was an easy week since I had a stomach bug, so we'll see how this week goes being a little bit more normal.

Oh I was watching Rachael Ray and Rocco Dispirito was on. He's coming out with a new cook book March 2nd called Now Eat This! It's comfort food recipes all under 350 calories. I asked Peter to order it for me for my birthday. I'll let you know how it is once I get it and try out a couple recipes. He did one on the show for onion rings using panko bread crumbs and baking them. They looked delicious. I'm going to try that one out soon!

I have to say I've enjoyed, not sure if that's the right word, tracking my progress on my blog. I hope it's not dreadfully boring for you readers. I like the accountability everyday. If I eat or drink something, I have to write about it. It makes me think twice, even if it's only my Mom reading :)

I don't think I'll be having another 3 glasses of wine night for a while. I don't need the calories and I woke up feeling like crap. Not so good when you have a little one around who has crazy amounts of energy to burn. I'll be taking it easy on the drink for the next 7 weeks before the Vegas trip. Thanks for reading and have a great work week!

W1D5&D6

2010-01-10T14:23:00.000-08:00

Friday:

Exercise: 30 mins Wii Fit

Food:

Breakfast: Egg White and Cheese on a Whole Wheat English Muffin-270
Lunch: Left over Pad Thai-Unsure
Dinner: Hamburger (no cheese)-500 calories

Saturday

Exercise: 20 min Wii Fit (Biggest Loser Game)

Food:

Brunch-ish: Two Chicken Fajita's and some Chips and Salsa-Unsure
Dinner: Turkey Burger w/beets, 340 calories
Snack: French Bread w/olive oil and seasoning, 220

I will post tomorrow's as well as my first week's weight in. It's technically been about 10 days that I started watching my diet, so it will be interesting to see how it goes. Thanks for sharing this week with me. I hope to continue doing well and doing better in my food choices. Vegas here I come 20 lbs lighter!

W1 D4

2010-01-07T19:35:00.000-08:00

Day Four

Exercise: Wii Fit-30 minutes, 125 calories burned

Food:

Breakfast-Egg White sandwich on Wheat English Muffin, 270 calories

Lunch-Shrimp Pad Thai w/Brocolli and Won Ton Soup, Unsure (Ate 1/3 of the meal)

Dinner-Chicken, Vegi's, Rice w/Cashews, Unsure

Total Calories-Unsure.

I think I had a little more to eat than I should have. But I don't think I over did it. I guess we'll see on Monday morning when I do my first weekly weigh in. I didn't make it to the gym today, but hoping to go tomorrow or Saturday.

Enough about diet and exercise.

Little B has been amazing. She had her 6 month well check visit, and Hubby said she did well during her vaccinations. She only cried after the third one. She ran a slight fever afterwards, but after some tylenol she was a champ. Apparently she's a long baby. She's in the 95th percentile. Wowsers. I don't know where she's getting that height from. The pediatrician said to drop the late night feeding and when she wakes up to give her a sippy cup of water. I had my doubts that it would work, but she woke up last evening and Hubby got up with her, changed her diaper and gave her some water. Sure enough she went back to bed. And the best thing, she slept until 7:30am. Hot dog!

Well I hope you all had have a great week and have a restful weekend and spend time with those you love.

My New Favorite Pic of Little B

2010-01-07T18:51:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know the bib doesn't exactly match. But seriously, this is the cutest face ever!

Week One, Day 3

2010-01-07T06:33:00.000-08:00

It's Thursday and I'm finely feeling "better." I'm not 100% but I'm getting there. I'm hoping to make it to the gym today and do some Wii Fit later. Here's my summary for yesterday

Exercise: None
Food:

Breakfast-3 count Chicken Mini, Fruit Cup-370
Dinner-3 Taco's, 650
Snack(s)-Skittles, 230
Total Calories-1250

Not a very well rounded eating day. Again I skipped a meal and went a little over board at dinner. The Skittles were unnecessary, left over stocking candy. All gone now. I did get on the scale this morning, but I won't post my final weight until Monday. I'm sure a lot of it is water weight, due to my stomach bug :)

The Vegas trip is booked. I'm going with a few friends for 4 days and i.can't.wait! I haven't spent any time overnight away from Miss B. Ideally I wish Hubby would be with me, but it's not the case. But I'm sure it's going to be blast. I'm going exactly 8 weeks from now, and I would like to be down to 150 lbs. by then which I think is attainable. I just have to keep my eyes on the prize!

Under the Weather

2010-01-06T08:32:00.000-08:00

I've been a bit under the weather since Sunday. It's not a cold or anything, though I wish it was. I'm really fatigued and having some stomach issues. My appetite is all weird and I can't seem to drink enough water. So, the first few days of my transformation haven't been so transforming. But here's how it's going.

Monday

Starting Weight: 169.9 (Yikes!)

Exercise: None

Food

Breakfast-Special K Cereal, 180 calories
Lunch-Easy Mac, 220 calories
Dinner-Pasta, 350 calories
Snack(s)-Saltines (help settle my tummy), 150 calories
Total Calories- 900

Tuesday

Exercise: None

Food

Breakfast: Special K Bar, 90 calories
Lunch: Garden Salad w/Grilled Shrimp and Creamy Italian dressing on the side, 400 calories
Dinner: Saltines, 150
Total Calories: 640

No people I'm not starving myself. I just haven't been feeling well. I know I should be eating between 1200-1500 calories a day, but my appetite hasn't been so good. I did make myself eat somethin yummy today for breakfast, maybe not the healthiest, but it was delicious. I don't think exercise will be happening today either. I feel I need to continue to rest and get myself feeling healthy again. Hubby keeps telling me to go to the doctor, but I don't think there is much she could do. I'm just going to keep taking it easy, drink lots of water, and try to eat.

On the brightside, I should probably lose some good weight this week...

Going Out on a Limb Here.

2010-01-04T08:50:00.000-08:00

A very cliche new year's resolution is to lose weight, eat healthier, exercise more... Of course this is one of mine. My metabolism decided to come to a screeching halt around age 22. I've packed on about 45 pounds since I graduated. I also can't keep walking around until Miss B is in kindergarten saying, I just had a baby and that's why I'm overweight.

So I'm embarking on a weight loss journey and I'm inviting you to join me. I want to document it for a few reasons.

1. Accountability
2. Accountability
3. Accountability

So maybe there's just 1 real reason. I need to let others know my progress to keep myself motivated through out the week.

Here's what I've done so far to help me begin this journey.

1. Joined a gym at the end of October-Re-starting the couch to 5K program.
2. Joined Weight Watchers, starts this week.
3. Changed my breakfast habits. Sorry Chick Fil-A Chicken Mini's, you've been replaced by Special K Vanilla and Almond.
4. Drinking less. Limiting my weekly alcohol consumption will eliminate a good amount of empty calories.
5. Using my Wii Fit 6 days a week for 30 minutes a day.

I will give you real numbers including weight, clothing size, food and exercise diary. I will be posting my results for day, not including weight (once a week postings) I'm hoping this will be a positive experience. Will I be perfect, nope. I'll back track I'm sure throughout my journey. But I need to remind myself this is a process. Rome wasn't built in a day. I didn't put this weight on overnight either. I hope you enjoy reading this throughout the months. The first post will be tomorrow, documenting today and my start weight.

Here we go!

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T05:18:00.000-08:00

What a year 2009 was. The first half of the year dragged on and on and on. I was pregnant with Little B. And my friends and co-workers know I was not a fan of pregnancy. I never thought it was going to end. But it was all worth it. The last half of the year flew by. Little B was born and brought great joy to our lives. We've loved the last 6 months that we've been given to get to know her and watch her grow. We hope that we continue to receive the blessing of raising her.

2010 is here and like many I have things that I would like to work on.

1. Be a better wife. Hubby knows my short comings and he loves me anyway. Patience is not something that I have in abundance. I need to be more loving.

2. Be a better friend. Some of my friends have seen the not so nice side of me. They too, sometimes see my lack of patience, but they still keep me around. I need to be more understanding and patient in that area and improve those relationships.

3. Be a better colleague. I feel that because of bad experiences at my previous job, I've been a little distant from my career. I don't want to get burned again and pour a lot of hours and dedication into something that doesn't give back. I need to let that go and find the passion I once had for my career.

4. Get healthy. And hopefully due to that, lose weight. I'm focused more on feeling better about myself and being healthy so that I can do whatever I can do be the best Mom I can be. I love food and drink, but I need to learn moderation. Exercise needs to be a part of my routine. I'll be posting on this soon about my weight loss plan.

5. Overall, I want to find balance in life. I tend to burn the candle at both ends, which in turn negatively effects my family. So maybe I'll be out a little less, in a little more, but at the end of the day the ones that are dear to me will benefit the most.

Here's to a new year.

1. Find Balance. This is really encompassing most of my goals for the year. I am a Wife, Mom, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Friend, and Colleague. I want to work being the best I can be to the people in my life that matter to me.

Is it bad that...

2009-12-09T08:06:00.001-08:00

I am not decorating my house for Christmas this year?

I know it's little B's first Christmas, but we won't be here for the holidays. On top of that we are getting work done on the house and still have painting and other fixing up to do. I figure she's too little to understand Christmas this year anyway, right?

On top of that, I'm not a huge holiday decorator to begin with. I am planning on changing that for Little B next fall/holiday season. Does this make me a bad mum? I hope not!

As much as I'm looking forward to the holidays this year, I'm REALLY looking forward to next year, God willing of course. By next year little B will be 18 months and walking, talking, and we can start our holiday traditions then. Here are just a few we've thought of so far:

Advent Calendar-A good one that really portrays the true meaning of Christmas. Every day I want to share with her the Christmas story and how the birth of Jesus is the best gift we've ever received.
Picking out her own ornament-Every year we want to take her to pick out her own ornament for the tree.
Decorating the house-goes without saying
Giving to others-I want her to help us pick out gifts for those in need. I want her to understand that not all children/families can celebrate the holidays like we do. Though it's going to be tough explaining that along with Santa, we are still debating how we will do this, any suggestions out there? Maybe we'll wait till she's a little older and can understand the concept. I've always struggled with having children believe in Santa, yet still showing the true meaning of Christmas. It seems so contradictory, but I don't want to rob her of the wonders of Santa. Those were exciting times as a child.
Making cookies for Santa..err Daddy-I loved it when we made cookies for Santa and they were gone the next morning, it was so magical.

Any who, I'm feeling a tad guilty for not decorating my house, but at the end of the day, it's not worth it for me this year.

Stress=Food?

2009-12-03T07:33:00.000-08:00

Why is it when I'm stressed, I cook. A LOT. Also, when I'm angry or upset, I clean. Hubby probably thinks I should be in a constant state of stressed anger. He could come downstairs from his office at the end of the day to a clean home and dinner on the table. Ha!

But if you come to my house fairly often, you know that it's not immaculate nor is dinner cooked night. So I'm a fairly stress and anger free person. Phew!

Yesterday was a slightly stressful day; really it was a cumulation of a stressful week and at the end of the day I need to de-stress, so I did what any sane full time working Mom would do at the end of the day, I made a lasagna from scratch. I was reading this girl's facebook page and she mentioned making lasagna, and I automatically jumped in the car and bought all the ingredients I didn't already have and made it. It was very easy and tasty. Even considering there is sausage in it and I don't like sausage.

After I popped that in the oven I thought it would be a good idea to make puppy chow, an old college fav. Delish!

On top of that I had already made banana nut muffins in the morning. Move over Rachael Ray...I'm just saying. It's no wonder that I'm still hovering at my pre-pregnancy weight. I keep making yummy and not diet friendly food. And since I hurt my back earlier this week, no gym for me. That's a whole other story, but I'm going to see the doc on Friday.

So if you live around me, please stop by with some tuperware and take some of this food off our hands!

If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say...

2009-11-30T11:42:00.000-08:00

You know the rest. That's how I've felt lately. Again, I've written a lot, but have not posted much. I feel like I'm being overly negative and I don't want my blog to go down that path.

So instead, I will update on new things Little B is doing:

Eating Carrots. She loves them. She make the cutest face when she takes that first bite, but then it's like, "Give me more."

Spitting. She makes this movement with her mouth and spit goes a flyin. It's cute...until you are the receiver of this great gift.

Rolling over. She's mastering this...in her sleep. She doesn't roll over too much while she's awake. But the second she's in her crib, on her belly she goes. She'll wake up, upset because she can't roll herself back over. We flip her back on her back and seconds later, it's back to her belly.

New Sounds. She's makes Ba-ba-ba-ba sounds all the time. It's quite adorable.

Jumperoo. She gets it now. She jumps and has a great time. And she also puts her mouth on everything around her.

Feet. She's figuring out she has them. Which means when there are socks on her feet she likes to play the "lets take my socks off" game. Over and over and over again.

She's just so much more alert and acknowledging her surroundings. It's great to see her explore and look around.

What a joy.

Thankful

2009-11-25T08:47:00.000-08:00

oh nov 2008-nov 2009, you've brought me much to be thankful for. (in no particular order)

a healthy pregnancy. at this time last year, i was so nauseous. i don't even think i ate very much. but i had a healthy pregnancy that leads to the next thing
safe delivery of little b. i had a better than typical labor and delivery. it was fairly pain free. she came out with all ten fingers and toes. perfect
the birth of my nephew little K. He's a month older than little B. He's adorable and healthy.
in tough economic times for many, we've been blessed to not be affected by it. we were both able to maintain our jobs, save money, and little a lifestyle that is very comfortable.
working from home. having the ability to work from home has been a god send. from the morning (all-day) sickness, to returning to work after maternity leave, it's allowed me to maintain a great work/life balance. i love my job and i'm thankful i can do what i love, while still having time with my family.
parenthood. it's been such a joy. of course there were some hard times (those dreaded first few weeks), but in all honesty it hasn't been as hard as i thought.
Poker. What? i'm thankful for poker. sure am. it's a game i love and have met so many great people through the game. i enjoy playing it as much as i did from when i first started.
Hubby. It's been almost six years since we took a walk down that aisle. We were naive and young, and never could've expected our life would what it is now. I wouldn't have it any other way, even the rough times. You are a great Father, and patient, loving husband. You are my best friend and partner for life.
Family. I've grown closer to some family members since having little b. My mother-in-law for one. I've cherished this growing relationship and enjoy getting to know her more and more as time goes on. It's been great going through pregnancy and birth of a child with my little brother. My lil sister is growing up and become quite the lady. She's got a good head on her shoulders. My parents. Seeing my Mom enjoy being a grandmother brings me such joy. I know that little b has people in her life who absolutely adore her.
Friends. We've had a great year. I know I wasn't my normal self most of the year. Most have stuck by my side through the transition of being a mom. Some are more on the sidelines. But I'm so appreciative of my friends. They bring laughs, good times, and great conversation.

Hiatus

2009-11-23T08:34:00.000-08:00

Over the past couple weeks, I've written a lot, but have decided not to post due to the personal nature of the content. It's been a therapeutic thing for me, but unfortunately, you all haven't had the chance to read. But I figured there are things in life that are meant to be shared with few.

Hopefully that is over now, and I will go back to regular blogging, but who knows.

Little B is doing so well. We had a hiccup in the road and had to change daycare providers. I know I mentioned it briefly. Our provider ended up having to shut down her business. We scrambled, but found a great place for her. Of course since being there she picked up the sniffles. We totally expected that since she was around new germs. She's a champ though.

We are taking it easy this Turkey Day and staying home. No cooking, no family, just rest and relaxation for the day and weekend...and perhaps a little shopping.

On a completely different note, I've been playing poker really well lately. Those of you who don't know me well, I love poker. I've been playing for almost 7 years. I can't get enough. I still play frequently even with Little B, since she's such a good sleeper. But recently, I feel like I've connected with the game like I never had before. I don't know what it is, but it's been great. I won't bore you with the details, but it's nice taking your game to another level. Am I at the pro-level, no even close. I love poker because you are continuing to learn the game every time you play. It's never the same and you can always walk away learning something.

I also know I'm way behind on GIST. I may just restart, or pick up where I left off. I have to admit I went through a small time frame where I didn't want to be thankful, I was having a bit of a pity party. But it's over!

Well it's time to start the day!

2009-11-11T20:21:00.000-08:00

I haven't felt like writing lately.

It's been a hectic week. We were surprised this week with not having childcare. Little B goes to a home based daycare and it's the risk you take when there's only one provider. So she's been home with us this week. Thankfully we both work from home so we've been balancing it and making it work as best we can. I actually took the day off the other day since Hubby had to go out of state for the day. It was so nice to spend the day with her, but I find myself much more exhausted at the end of each day.

Due to my complete lack of desire to write here's my life in bullet points:

*Halloween with Little One was nice. She was a little pumpkin, absolutely adorable
*I decided to not attend my high school reunion. It was a tough decision but I didn't want take the time off or travel over the holiday
*My Dad is coming to visit over New Year's. It'll be the first time he's met Bella. I'm looking forward to it
*I went and played cards in a real casino for the first time since having Little B. Although I didn't win, it was a good time.
*Work is going really well. I'm enjoying the area I'm working in and like the team. It's nice to feel a part of something, instead of feeling alone and on my own island.
*I'm thankfully for my friends: L, D, S, N, you are great. I've enjoyed hanging out with you. L, honestly, I don't know what I'd do without you. Thank you for putting up with my crap and calling me out when I need it.
*My life is NOTHING like I'd imagine it to be. P, you are my rock. You keep me grounded. You show me a love that I don't deserve. Little B, you surprise me everyday. Watching you grow, learn, and develop is a gift that I will never take for granted.

That's my life in a nutshell.
Pax.

Times they are a changin...

2009-11-04T17:15:00.000-08:00

Well officially the time already changed. Oh daylight savings time, I adored you all my life, up until now. Now you are a torture device. Our little one was such a great sleeper and then you showed up giving us the gift of an extra hour of sleep. However, 4 month olds don't quite get the concept and think that it's a great idea to get up 430-5a.

Time Change-1, Parents-0.

We are slowly recovering in our household and Little B even surprised us this morning and slept until 715a, that is partially due to the fact that we didn't feed her at 11pm like we normally do and she woke up at 2a, hungry. We (Hubby and I) were in bed sleeping by 9pm. I am hoping we are at the end of adjusting to the time change and soon everything will go back to normal, until she starts teething, or gets another round of immunizations, or some other awesome thing that I haven't thought of yet that will disrupt our sleeping.

Hubby is much more able to handle lack of sleep than I am. I get grumpy, crabby, etc and it's typically all pointed in his direction. Maybe he does too, but is doesn't feel the need to take it out on me. That's one of the many reasons I love him.

Here are my GIST for the week thus far

Day 87-89

1. Quick work day
2. Hired a great candidate, made my day!
3. Little B is exceling at tummy time.
4. Steaks delivered to our house
5. Watching the game with friends
6. Trying a new mexican restaurent
7. Yummy margarita's, even if they cost and arm and a leg
8. Doing well at trivia
9. Cooking steaks that were delivered
10. Started working out, not as sore as i thought I would be
11. Going to bed early
12. Daycare being so close to home
13. Planning trip to Vegas in March
14. Unexpected money coming our way
15. Planning a visit from my Dad.

GIST: Day 80-86

2009-11-02T09:11:00.000-08:00

I'm waaayyyy behind on this...

1. Productive work day
2. Carmel Machiatto from Starbucks
3. Just Between Friends Sale, found cute clothes, a play mat, high chair, and exersaucer. Saved a bunch of $$$.
4. Talked to my Dad and he's visiting over New Years, finally gets to meet Bella
5. Weekend w/little B.
6. Little B looking absolutely adorable in her halloween costume.
7. Great check up at the doctors-Go Little B.
8. Little B did much better with her shots, she didn't even cry during the first one.
9. Little B started eating rice cereal, well, getting most of on herself
10. Little B rolled over for the first time, from her belly to her back
11. Watched some football with a good friend
12. Started exercising, and not terribly sore the next day
13. A cute shirt I saw at Macys a few weeks ago was on sale 50%, yea for not succumbing to instant gratification.
14. New light bulbs
15. Surprise lunch date with hubby
16. Did well in a cash game
17. First night of time change went smoother than I thought
18. Got an oil change in my car and it was super fast
19. Procrastinated in buying Little's B costume and saved big $$$, thank you Pottery Barn Kids
20. 2 hours of great shopping time with my little one. She was sooo well behaved.
21. Forgiving hubby, I may or may not have snapped at him a few times on Saturday.
22. Watching the World Series, though the outcome not what I'd like...
23. Finding out about a new mexican restaurant and making plans to eat there
24. Kicking some butt at trivia
25. Because of some butt kicking, we won a martini shaker.
26. Thank you to L for letting me keep the shaker!
27. Having a friend who is honest and open to tell you, you're being a jerk. Sometimes you just need to hear it.
28. Naps
29. Playing solitaire
30. Letting go of the fact that my house will never be as clean as it should be.
31. Making an offer for a position that was a tough find.
32. Transition from swaddling little B to a sleep sack, almost flawless.
33. Thankful for having such an easy baby
34. Being a witness to all the new changes and developments little B goes through
35. Visiting a friend.

Shots...Take Two

2009-10-28T12:12:00.000-07:00

Little B received her second round of vaccinations. So far so good. Last time around, wasn't so good. But she's twice as old now, so maybe her body in handling them a lot better. She didn't even flinch when she got the first one. The second one her little face got all red and she screamed. But we brought the bottle with us, and immediately gave it to her and that calmed her right down.

The doctor commented how calm LB was during the exam. She said she has a lot of patience (must get it from her dad). She now weighs 14 lbs 15 oz, and is 26 inches long. She's perfectly healthy and developing wonderfully.

The doctor said not to be concerned with her not enjoy tummy time, and it may mean she'll develop a little slower in sitting up on her own. We just need to practice every day. Since her visit she's gotten much better, BUT, she's learned how to rollover when she's on her tummy, so she doesn't stay up very long. She looks so happy when she realizes what she's done. It's adorable.

I digress...after we brought her home, we gave her some tylenol and let the fussiness begin. She wasn't as bad as the first time. However, she certainly wasn't our happy little one. Thankfully hubby took the day off to be with her. We didn't have to take her to daycare so she could just spend the day being cuddled and soothed whenever she needed it.

Thankfully we don't have anymore shots this year. Early January is when we got in for the flu shot and whatever else she needs at that age. I can't believe she'll be over 6 months old at that point.

I plan on writing more posts this week. Including Halloween pics, though if you're my friend on FB you've seen them already. I will also be commneting on how awesome the time change has been. Whoever thought gaining an hour would be so dificult?

Love to Eat, Must Exercise

2009-10-26T11:50:00.000-07:00

I know I mention a lot of food when I post my GIST's. I love food. I should probably be about 300 lbs, but thankfully my metabolism still works, though slowly. I've come to the realization that I don't like to diet. I like to eat yummy foods like chicken cheesesteaks, Chick-fil-a, burritos, pad thai, etc, etc, etc. I also like to drink alcohol: fruity martini's, beers, wines, oh my. So I must exercise. Even though I'm back at my pre-pregnancy weight, I'm still a good 25-30...okay maybe 35-40 lbs over weight. It's not healthy, and I will tone down my diet, in terms of portion control, NOT content. The fact of the matter is, after you have a baby your body changes. Things are the same, and even though my weight is the same, it's shifted to different places, making my pre-pregnancy clothes not fit so well.

So I MUST exercise. And I hate exercising. I always have. I have no endurance. I'm a complete weenie. If I get tired, I stop. If I feel pain, I stop. I'm a quitter when it comes to exercise. I had a personal trainer once, E, and he disliked me. I wouldn't do what he said. I wouldn't run the laps, or do the number of reps he wanted. I would just say no. Hey, he worked for me!

So, I'm going to join a gym, no contract of course, and attempt to start exercising. If anything I need to do it for Little B. I want her to have a Mommy around for a long time.

Does anyone have any advice on what to do the first month of exercise? I am going to start slow. Rome wasn't built in a day.

GIST: Day 77-79

2009-10-26T11:46:00.001-07:00

1. Work day went by quickly on Friday
2. Did well at Poker
3. Had some yummy shots
4. Met up with some friends after poker, good times
5. Solidifying work event for November
6. Sleeping in on Saturday
7. Taking a nap on Saturday
8. Delicious Dinner at a restaurant I'd never been to before
9. Meeting new people at a Bachelorette Party...very good times
10. Making to above party safely, it was raining cats and dogs
11. Slept in again on Sunday...thank you Hubby!
12. Pumpkin picking with Hubby and Little B
13. Dutch Apple Pie
14. Quiet evening at home
15. Watching Little B sleeping, when I should've been in bed. But they are only babies for so long.

Four Month

2009-10-25T16:35:00.001-07:00

Little B,

You turned four months yesterday. This month was so much fun. You are changing so much. I feel like everyday you are doing something new; making a new sound; moving your body in a new way.

You are trying to rollover, but I think you are afraid of flipping over on your tummy. You still hate tummy time, but you are getting better. You love to be held so that you can look around at everything around you.

You are using your jumperoo, though you can't quite touch the floor yet, we use your bumbo

chair to help elevate you. Speaking of your bumbo chair, you are starting to sit in it. Like your jumperoo, you only like it for about 7-10mins and then you want to go back to being held or you want to play in your play place.

We made another trip up north. It was under sad circumstances, but you got to see your Grandma's, Aunt, Uncle, and lots of friends. You did so well in the car and slept a lot. You also did well sleeping in a different place. We were thrilled that you did so well.

Daddy went away for a few days on business so it was just the girls. We had a great spending time together. We did a lot of shopping and playing together. But it was sooo good to have Daddy home.

You are still a good sleeper (even though we did have a little hiccup for a few days). You are eating 4-6 ounces. You had your first bout of diaper rash, but the butt paste worked wonders.

Little B, you are absolute perfection. We love you and can't wait to see what the next month has in store for us.

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

GIST: Day 75 & 76

2009-10-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

1. An evening out with L.
2. Finding a great babysitter...priceless
3. Dragonberry Rum w/Lemonade
4. H stopping by to visit Little B and I
5. N stopping by to watch the game.
6. B sleeping in until 745a
7. Baseball, great games
8. Shout out to Diet Dr. Pepper, helping me survive the week
9. Seeing co-workers
10. Top Chef, it's sooooo good this season

My Hats Off...

2009-10-22T07:34:00.000-07:00

to single parents. Seriously. It's been quite the week having Hubby gone. And this is with Little B being an absolute perfect baby. She slept fairly well, she wasn't overly fussy. She was just a great baby, but yet at the end of each day I felt a tiredness I haven't experienced since becoming a Mom.

Any Mom out there who has to do this alone, I've found a new respect and admiration for. It's tough. It was like working a 13-14 hour day, day after day, after day. I'm counting down the hours till Hubby is home...about 7.5 hours to be exact.

Sorry again I apologize for the lack of blogging on my part. It's been a struggle to do much this week, even eat properly. Last night, I was just craving something healthy, so after putting Little B to bed, I went into the kitchen and made my chicken lo mein (whole wheat pasta, vegi's,). It was delicious. I had a couple cocktails with a friend and watched the baseball game.

Also to my complete surprise, Little B slept until 7:45. She must've known I needed the sleep. Thanks little one! Mommy really needed that. Overall, it's been exhausting, but I've enjoyed seeing her adorable smiles in the morning. It makes me forget how tired I feel. And feeding her in my arms at the end of the day and watching her fall asleep, makes me look forward to next day.

This is not to say I'm ready or wanting Hubby to go away this long again, but it's been a good week.

GIST: Day 71-74

2009-10-19T16:40:00.000-07:00

1. Planning a work event, hoping its a smashing success

2. Won some $$$ playing poker

3. Sipping on some yummy wine @ a Food and Wine Festival

4. Having an amazing Saturday afternoon with Hubby and Little B

5. Meeting and hiring an awesome babysitter, so that Hubby and I can have regular date nights. Check out care.com if you need some assistance with finding child care

6. Visiting the new Wegmans. It was packed, but the selection was fantastic

7. An understanding person who forgave my lack of etiquette.

8. Visit from a friend on Sunday. I love watching people love on Little B.

9. Eating Taco Bell, even though I always feel like garbage afterwards

10. Catching up on TV, oh Mad Men you are getting better and better with each episode

11. Really enjoying my new team at work.

12. Iced Mocha's from Starbucks

13. Paying for above drink with a giftcard

14. Working from home

15. Car Mirror so I can see little B while in the car with her.

16. Going to bed early

17. Talking to Hubby first thing in the morning

18. Homemade guacamole

19. Watching Jeopardy and knowing a good amount of answers

20. Smiles from Little B this morning. I was SO tired, but once I saw her, it lit up my world.

Second Time Around

2009-10-18T06:34:00.000-07:00

Hubby is gone on his 2nd business trip since having little "b." His first trip was while I was still on maternity leave. It was tough. Being around a newborn all day, every day was very difficult for me. I didn't have anything to break up my day.

Now I am back to work and I think it's going to be a lot easier this time around. I feel more confident in my parenting abilities and working during the day will give me time to recharge and interaction with adults that I need.

This has also given me some more time to ponder the decision to go back to work. I'm glad I did it. I love my job. I love what I do and I would miss it if I walked away. I enjoy the morning and evening times with little b, and I L.O.V.E, love the weekends we get to spend with her. The happiness I feel every time I walk into her nursery in the morning and see her face smiling at me; it doesn't matter if it's 430a or 7a, it's melts my heart and wakes me right up.

And I'll get to see that just about every morning this week with Hubby gone until Thursday night.

I miss Hubby dearly, but I get to hang out with my little one all week, just mommy and daughter time.

GIST: Day 63-70

2009-10-16T08:37:00.000-07:00

1. Safe trip up north
2. Safe trip home
3. Little B was great in the car
4. Dinner with Hubby at my fav chinese food restaurant
5. Spending time with my Sister
6. Packing for trip went smoothly and didn't forget anything
7. Drinks and Yummy food with Hubby @ an Italian restaurant
8. Productive day at work after being gone for 4 days
9. Seeing my mom
10. Spending time with my MIL.
11. Thankful for family that helped out with Little B so we could take care of the things we needed to.
12. Saw an old friend of Hubby's
13. Listened to an open mic night
14. Yummy wings @ Chili's
15. Conversations with Hubby while driving in the car
16. Carmel Machiato from Starbucks
17. Little B's smiles in the mornings
18. Hearing little b laugh while daddy played with her
19. Played cards with friends
20. Finding humor in a diaper situation while on the road
21. Bath time with Little B
22. Sleep schedule was flawless while away from home
23. Seeing my little brother...but didn't get to see my nephew.
24. Making plans for the holidays
25. Enjoying my own bed after being away from home.

I know I'm missing a few! But I think you all get the point

My Absence

2009-10-16T08:30:00.001-07:00

I apologize for my long absense. We had a very unexpected death in the family. It was a complete shock to us. We never thought that this early in life we would have to say goodbye to a parent. Out of respect for my family, I don't want to share the details of what happened, but I want to say thank you to those who sent your condolences. Thank you to our family who was there to support us and helped out with Little "B." It was nice to see family but sad under the circumstances.

Hometown

2009-10-08T08:11:00.000-07:00

The great debate for me this Thanksgiving season is whether or not to attend my high school reunion. The second debate is if I do decide to go to my reunion which one will I attend. I grew up in one town. I attended school there K-10, with a brief absence for 3rd grade at another school. I then transferred to another school my junior year and graduated there. I don't really feel connected to the school I graduated from. But at the same time I haven't really lived in my hometown for 13 years. They are both the same night, so I could only attend one of them.

I'm not quite sure that it's worth the 7 hr drive with my little one to attend an event for a few hours and see people that while I'm sure the nostalgia would be great, I haven't really stayed in touch with too many people since I've graduated. There's one person I'd like to see but I'm not sure that person is going. We've lost touch, and I've tried get in touch, but it hasn't happened so far.

Decisions. Decisions.

Anyone out there go to their reunion and enjoy it? Regret it?

Vacationing

2009-10-07T18:23:00.000-07:00

I always enjoy researching, planning, booking vacations. I often read up on great destinations and plan itineraries to places I know I'm not going to go to, but I like researching the trips, finding out where the tourists and locals go.

In the almost 6 years we've been married, we've been so blessed in our travels. We've been to Mexico, Disney three times, Italy, France, Bahama's three times, and Bermuda. We taken several trips to A.C. I've been able to visit my college friends, went to Vegas, and also had a job that gave me great opportunities to see this country. I LOVE to travel; a sentiment not shared by Hubby, but he's open. We love to cruise and relax while we go on vacation.

Now with a little one, we know that is going to drastically change. And I'm so excited. I can't wait to show her the world. I can't wait to see her face light up when she sees Mickey Mouse and Cinderella's Castle for the first time. I can't wait until she sees the ocean and feels the sand on her feet. But in all my dreams of taking her on vacation, I also know the reality. Gone are the days of lounging around lazily on a beach chair or reading in the library on a cruise ship, or waking up and drinking mimosa's for breakfast and capping the night with a margarita. But I could care less. I know vacationing will not longer be relaxing all day but about spending time with my family and seeing my little one enjoy new things. I know it's going to be a couple years before my feet walk onto a cruise ship. But I look forward to my daughter spending time with her Grandparents and feeling the love of those around her. I look forward to turning off the cell phones and email and focusing on spending time as a family.

Our plan, and we haven't shared this with family is to get a beach house somewhere next summer (Cape Cod, New Jersey, Outerbanks, etc), and have family (hubby's mom, my mom, anyone else) come and spend time with us as a family. We can't wait to be surrounded by people that love us and more importantly love our daughter.

I am looking forward to our new way of vacationing!

GIST: Day 60, 61 & 62 of 365

2009-10-07T18:06:00.000-07:00

1. Productive work day
2. Watching people trying to win lobsters
3. 3rd place at poker
4. 1/2 day off from work...thanks Mike G.
5. Seeing my co-workers in the office
6. Reminiscing about my pregnancy
7. Cooking dinner for my husband
8. Watch the little kids at little b's daycare love all over her. she's the youngest one. they love her.
9. got the thumbs up for Vegas trip in the spring
10. Pinot Grigio
11. Quiet evening relaxing with hubby
12. Kicking butt at Wheel of Fortune
13. Fall Shows
14. Planning 2010 family vacation-very early, tossing ideas around, but it's exciting
15. New Curtains...just need to iron them

Blog Freeze

2009-10-06T12:48:00.000-07:00

Similar to a brain freeze, I'm having a blog freeze. I'm at a loss of what to write about lately. So I'll just give a reader's digest of the weekend...

Friday: Hubby and I went out for sushi before picking up little "b" from daycare. We are going to make this a new tradition. Once a week we will leave little "b" at daycare for just an extra hour and grab some dinner somewhere. This way we can have some non-baby time together, even for just an hour or so. It was great and I really enjoyed being out just the two of us.

Saturday: Hubby and I both got up with little one early in the morning. We played with her and hang out around the house. I then headed out into the city to play in a tag team poker tourney. However, since there was a poor showing it was an individual event. The players were horrible and I was home in no time. Which meant I got to spend more time with little one.

Sunday: We both got up again with little one and heading out to home depot to pick up our quote on carpet installation...expensive. So we are looking at other options. Funny thing on Sunday was we changed little one's clothes 3X before 9a. She was a spit up machine. I then headed out to play in a poker tourney that I qualified for. It was a really good time. I got to hang out with some good friends and play cards, but I did miss my little one dearly. I don't often go out solo on the weekends. I enjoyed it, but I won't make a habit of it. I was anxious to get home and see her.
I got home and put her to bed, then headed out to meet some of my friends for drinks at a local pub.

It was a good weekend, but I'm looking forward to this weekend. We are doing a baby photo shoot. I can't wait to get them done, because I have some nice frames I received as a gift and I want to put her adorable little face in them!

So that was my weekend. I hope to have more interested topic to write about. If anyone has any ideas or questions they would like to ask, feel free to leave a comment.

GIST: Day 59 of 60

2009-10-05T05:16:00.000-07:00

1. Poker with friends
2. Sweet Tea Vodka w/Lemonade...very, very yummy
3. Laughs with L and D
4. Scheduled photo shoot for Little B
5. Home in time to bathe, feed, and put little B to bed.

GIST: Day 58 of 365

2009-10-03T19:12:00.000-07:00

1. Morning with Little B...it never gets old.
2. Made yummy Chicken Lo Mein
3. Made super yummy Apple Crisp
4. Afternoon in Philly
5. Evening with my family

How Can You Not Love This Face?

2009-10-03T19:04:00.001-07:00

Seriously.

GIST: Day 57 of 365

2009-10-02T18:48:00.000-07:00

1. Spending the early morning with little "b."
2. Got an estimate on new carpet for the house
3. Yummy martini ingredients for home
4. Night at home in hubby
5. Sushi...first time since before I found out I was pregnant.

What is GIST?

2009-10-02T07:50:00.000-07:00

A friend yesterday asked me what this Day...of 365 thing is. I saw it on another blog that I read, and I have the link posted to the right. It's about looking at each day and finding 5 good things from the day, big or small. It's easy in life to get bogged down with the negative, so it's nice to reflect each day and look at the small things in life that make life so darn good. Some days are easier than others. But I do appreciate the small things when I've have a rotten day. It's been a challenge to me, but I've enjoyed looking at my life and taking in everything around me and seeing that there is a lot of good in my life.

I would highly suggest that people do this. It doesn't have to be in the form of a blog, but maybe a journal or just in a notebook. It's refreshing to reflect each day and see the good in the day instead of harping on the bad.

Gist: Day 56 of 365

2009-10-02T07:48:00.000-07:00

1. Walking around the mall with hubby and little one
2. Chick Fil-A for breakfast
3. Fun times at a friends home poker game, thanks again for the invite. Always a fun time.
4. Competing with Hubby
5. Somewhat clean house, well maybe more organized than clean

Day 55 of 365

2009-10-01T12:33:00.000-07:00

1. Smiley, happy baby
2. Midnight in Paris Martini
3. Getting my house in order
4. 3 Interviews this week, hopefully three offers (for my candidates, not for myself)
5. Bed time schedule is still working

Got Shot

2009-10-01T11:42:00.000-07:00

I got my first flu shot today. Since little one is too young to get one herself, we decided to get one for extra protection against the nasty flu. Just seeing her with a mild cold was hard, I would hate to see her with the flu. And she would be too young to take antibiotics if she were to contract the flu. I went to a Take Care Health Clinic @ my local Walgreens. I used to work for that company and love the convenience of being able to pick up a birthday card, get a prescription filled , and get my flu shot all in less than 30 minutes. And the Nurse Practitioner who administered my flu shot, I recruited while I was still with the company. It was great seeing her again.

So far my arm is a little sore, but it's a small price to pay for my little "b."

Day 54 of 365

2009-09-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

1. Family is feeling better
2. Fun evening of poker @ a new venue for me.
3. Trivia...we didn't come in last place
4. Hearing a heart warming story on talk radio
5. Productive work day

A Letter to 3:45am

2009-09-30T06:33:00.001-07:00

Dear 3:45am,

It seems we've seen a lot of each other in the past week since my dear daughter has been feeling under the weather; 3 times in one week to be exact. Not that I'm counting. Although you are a peaceful time of the very early morning, I appreciate you much more from the comforts of my cozy bed.

There were times in the past when I visited you after a long night out. Those were fun times and we have a lot of memories together. However, I'm a Mom now, so that hour is completely inappropriate to be up and about.

So, 3:45am I would like to kindly request that you do not visit me anymore. If you could coordinate this with my dear daughter I would greatly appreciate it.

Kindest Regards and hopefully Farewell,

Diet DP Loving Mom

Day 53 of 365

2009-09-29T07:58:00.000-07:00

1. Little B's bedtime...although I love spending time with her, we are all sick, so I was thankful for bedtime so we could all get some rest
2. Take Out-No chance to go grocery shopping since being sick.
3. Warm Throw Blanket
4. Cool evenings
5. Hot chocolate with whipped cream.

Waiting

2009-09-29T07:12:00.000-07:00

This morning I attended a viewing of a woman who lived 86 years. Of her 86 years on this planet she was married to her husband for 67 years. Yes, I did just type 67 years. Wow. I've known this couple for a few years. I met them while playing poker on a local free poker tour. They were a force to be reckoned with at the tables. They would play any two cards and call your bets all the way down. They had no fear. You see the husband was a P.O.W. He was gone for a long while. And his wife was at home waiting for him. She had hope that he would return back to her. And thankfully he did. They had a beautiful family and were surrounded by friends who loved them.

When I heard of her passing, I was saddened, but I also knew she lived a full life. She loved her family and loved playing cards. She and her husband were always out and about living and loving life. They made the trek to A.C often. She would always wear her poker hat and had little poker trinkets with her. But above all she loved her husband. I would often see them pull into the parking lot and he would drop her off right at the front door and go park the car, every time. You never heard them say a negative thing about each other, but still had a great sense of humor about themselves. You looked at them and knew after all these years, they still loved each other deeply.

When I looked into her husbands eyes, I saw the eyes of a man who lost his best friend. He lost the person who he had spent most of life with. Who he had children with. The woman who held onto the hope that when he was taken as a prisoner during the war, waited for him to return. And now she will wait again. She will be waiting for him to join her in heaven.

CTG you will be greatly missed by many.

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

2009-09-27T19:04:00.000-07:00

Little "B" got her first case of the sniffles from daycare this week. She kindly passed it along to her father and I. I started feeling a little off on Friday and woke on Sunday feeling dreadful. I told hubby that I would get up with little one this morning, so thankfully she slept until 745a. Hubby woke up at 9a and I was feeling miserable. He said I could go back to bed if I wanted to. I did. I slept for 4 hours. I felt weak and icky. Hubby isn't feeling so hot either. Yea for daycare!

Hopefully this week we can work it out of our systems and get healthy again. Being sick with an infant is no fun. Little "B" is taking her cold like a champ. She gets a little upset when her nose is all stuffed up and doesn't like getting it suctioned out, but she's a little fighter. She's sleeping really well at night. She needs her rest to get better. We knew the day would come when she would get sick. It wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. She's still adorable as ever, even with little snots running down her face.

Day 49-52

2009-09-27T17:25:00.000-07:00

1. Hubby made it home safely
2. Extra time spent with little "b"
3. Season Premiere of CSI
4. Chicken Cheesesteaks
5. Sunday Football
6. Hubby watching little one while I took a 4 hr nap...I'm sick
7. Finished painting living room
8. Picked out paint for dining room
9. Decided to work from home full time, no more hr commute into the office
10. Two nights of poker
11. Little "b" sleeping until 8:15
12. New tummy time toy
13. Dad got married
14. Season premiere of the Amazing Race...watching it right now
15. Shopping with little "b"
16. glenn beck's new book
17. quiet sunday evening
18. Getting new carpeting
19. Talked to my mom
20. Ending the weekend with a glass of wine.

Three Months

2009-09-24T12:14:00.000-07:00

A Day Late...

Little "B,"

You are three months old. You light up our lives in ways I cannot describe. Your smiles melt our hearts. I now know you are smiling at us, not just because of gas.

You started going to daycare in early September. You've done such a good job. Mommy and Daddy love it when you save the dirty diapers for Ms. A. Whenever I come to pick you up I will see you sitting in your vibrating chair or lying in your crib. You look content. When you see me, your face lights up and you give me the biggest smile. I look forward to that moment everyday.

One of your favorite things to do is to spit up right when we strap you into your car seat. It won't even be moving, just sitting stationary on the floor, and all of a sudden your upchucking skills go into effect. So we've learned to NEVER put you in your car seat without a bib on and a burp towel in hand. We make no exceptions.

You still love bath time and love your new bathtub we bought you. You just kick around so happy. I'd love to keep you in longer but I know the water/soap on your skin isn't the best for you, but hopefully as you grow we can extend that time.

You are the BEST sleeper. You sleep 12 hrs a night!!!! People can't believe how well you sleep for us. We did start our new routine this month. It's been working so wonderfully. Though I hate putting you to bed so early since I don't see you so much throughout the day, I know you need your beauty sleep.

You've developed your first case of the sniffles. I'm pretty sure you got it from the little boy at daycare who loves you and he is always sad to see you go. But he had a snotty little nose this week, and thus you got that lovely gift. We knew the day would come that you would get a cold. And you are a strong little girl. It must be so frustrating not know how to blow your nose.

The one thing you still hate is tummy time. You aren't holding your head up yet while on your tummy. But we aren't too worried about it. You'll learn when you're ready, but it doesn't mean we still don't try everyday.

I can't wait to see what this month will bring for us. We love seeing you grow. But Mommy wants to keep you small. You are perfect Little "B." We love you so much.

Daring

2009-09-23T19:22:00.001-07:00

I'm going to see what happens when I skip little "b's" last feeding. Although I love it, she doesn't seem to be hungry in the morning when she first wakes up. I'll let you know how it goes.

Day 48 of 365

2009-09-23T16:51:00.000-07:00

1. Reruns of The Office
2. Breakfast for dinner
3. Glass(es) of Pinot Noir
4. TV Night in
5. Hubby made it safely to his destination

Coincidence

2009-09-23T06:44:00.000-07:00

It was funny as I read Kristina's comment asking me how work was going. I was going to write about that today. It's going really well. I've decided to strictly work from home full time. I went into the office about 4-5 days and although I liked being there, it meant taking 2.5 hours of my day driving/getting ready for work. Working from home allows me to spend some extra time in the morning with Little "B" and still get an early start on my work day. We can also bring her home earlier while I'm wrapping up my day.

I do miss her a lot during the day, but I also enjoy what I do. The transition wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. But I also know my circumstances are much different than the average person. My hubby and I both work from home, so there's no need to jump out of bed and immediately start getting ready for work. I typically lounge in my pj's until lunch time and that's when I shower. I pack all of little ones stuff for daycare the night before, so in the morning we changed, feed, dress, and play with her before it's off to daycare.

With hubby and I both working from home it also allows us to eat breakfast or lunch together so we have some time together sans little one. We then work in our separate offices for the majority of the day. We are very respectful of each others work space and limit our conversations throughout the day.

Between 4-5p hubby goes to get little one while I wrap up my day. I typically check my emails periodically and answer my cell phone until 5-530p and then I am DONE for work for the day. Any calls or emails will have to wait until the next day. I make exceptions. Since I work as a recruiter some people can't talk until they are home from work. So I schedule those into my day as needed.

But so far so good. The transition has been easy. The key for me is to try and not think about little "b" too much during the day. I just focus on my work, knowing that around 4-5 I get to see her smiley happy face.

I am very fortunate to have a job that allows me to work from home. It gives me the best of both worlds. I can still do what I enjoy doing while maximizing the time I get to see little "b."

Face Lift

2009-09-22T20:22:00.001-07:00

We've lived in our home for almost 2 years. I can't believe it's been that long. We bought our home at the end of the housing boom so we've lost some $$$, but well below the national average; we are thankful. We haven't done much to it. I painted the office and hated the color and haven't changed it. We had our deck stained and purchased patio furniture. We painted the nursery. That's where we stopped.

Now that we have a baby one we, um I, decided that it was a good idea to start painting other rooms in the house, decorating, and putting some sweat equity in our home. I find the areas where we've made improvements are the areas that I enjoy the most and feel most at home.

We are embarking on the living room. We are almost done painting. Then shopping for decor. We are going to focus on the dining room after the living room is completed. I don't even want to talk about the kitchen. It needs an overhaul and once we save enough $$$ we are going to gut the whole thing. I'm enjoying spending this time together working on our home. I look forward to walking in the door to my house and it feels like our home.

Day 47 of 365

2009-09-22T20:01:00.000-07:00

1. A morning tradition
2. A little extra time with little one in the morning
3. Chicken mini's from Chick-Fil-A
4. Comedy Central Stand Up Specials
5. Last feeding of the night with little "b"

Day 46 of 365

2009-09-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

1. Watching Little "B" on the verge of learning how to laugh...she's almost there!
2. Working from home
3. Watching guys try and catch live lobsters in the lobster claw machine (yes, just like the claw machine w/stuffed animals except there are lobsters instead).
4. Getting laundry done
5. Hanging out with friends

Matching

2009-09-22T09:34:00.001-07:00

My hubby is fantastic. He usually wakes up with little "B" 5 out of 7 mornings a week. He's a morning person and well, I'm not. When I do wake up I sometimes find our little one in some interesting outfits to say the least.

Hubby doesn't have a bit of fashion sense in him at all. I often will pick out his clothes when he has meetings or is going away on business trips. He doesn't understand what goes with what. He doesn't get patterns and solids, light and dark, etc.

This weekend I took the time to color coordinate and hang up all of little "B's" clothes. So no longer will I see my poor baby wearing atrociously mismatched outfits. But I will miss wondering what I'm going to see when I come down the stairs in the morning.

Breathe In

2009-09-21T07:09:00.000-07:00

Now that little "B" is in her own crib in her own room, I can no longer pop up and check in on her. I hate it. I find myself waking up several times a night with the baby monitor to my ear checking to see if little "B" is breathing. When will this irrational fear go away. Last night I had myself half convinced someone could come in our home in the middle of the night and kidnap her. At 330a I really thought this was a real possibility.

I most worry about SIDS. Her age is the most likely age a baby will die from SIDS (2-4 months), perhaps after she passes that age I'll worry less. But part of me thinks I'll always worry, it's just part of being a parent. We will always worry about our babies no matter their age. Don't worry I don't plan on having a baby monitor in there when she's a teenager.

Any mom's out there have any advice that helped them sleep through the night worry-free?

Splish Splash

2009-09-20T18:37:00.000-07:00

We bought little "B" a new tub today. We liked her old one, but now that she's getting bigger and more mobile we didn't feel she was as safe it in. We tried it out tonight and she loved it. She kicked around and smiled big smiles and I didn't want bath time to end.

I'm not ready to do a full product review on this yet. But the one thing I really like about this, is the middle green part is removable, so as she gets older we can remove it so she can sit up on her own. The other tubs didn't have this feature. But so far so good.

Here's some bath tub pictures!

I wish I had video of her kicking around. Also the pics where she was really smiling big are nakie pictures and I didn't want to post those.

She's our little cutie!